emo song tapi bukan emo day!- flash back SMA

Nah, tiba2 waktu tadi search ttg "ada band", banyak juga lagu2 memorable yang mucul.
salah satu adalah lagu ini " setengah hati" , anjrott..begitu denger melody awalnya udah ke tusuk2, urat2ku tegang semua, bulu kudu merinding semua..
ternyata lagu ini mengiringi hari2ku dimana aku pas down, pas masa SMA, yang jadi satu sejarah dalam hidupku
ada satu lagu lagi sich... lagunya ungu "DEMI WAKTU" anjrotttt!!!!!



ARrrrggghhhhhhhhh...... bener2 cinta SMA busyet buju buneng ngukur berapa liter airmata yang udah keinjek2
hahahahahahaha
duu sich sakit banget yah,,gile. termehek2...
sekarang begitu denger lagunya, kayaknya cuman pengen ketawa aja, begitu canggihnya aku bisa menemukan lagu2 jadul gak karu2an...WAKAKAKAKKAKA, kalo misalnya sekarang aku bisa ketawa ngakak, aku bakal ngakak nich...masalahnya aku di library jadi kumatnya harus di tahan.

anyway, saatnya share kenapa lagu2 ini sangat menohok...
Ceritanya lagu ini pas kelas 2 SMA... (kalo berani research, 2 lagu ini lagi hits saat itu) cuman berawal dari jaman kelas 1 SMA.

3 tahun di SMA, nadia yang masih tomboy dan polos menunggu 1 orang cowok yang tampaknya cuman satu satunya di dunia ini yang bisa mencuri hatinya. (saya berani katakan namanya sekarang Steffen Whezzt Wijaya

Dia adalah ketua kelas yang charming, pendek dan imut. aigooooo ...
menikmati seninya menunggu, dan maju mundur dalam cinta. Nadia memilih untuk mengungkapkan perasaan hatinya kepada jejaka ini, naik2an kelas 2 SMA, Nadia menulis surat kepada cowok ini, bahwa She like Him. not asking him to be her BF soalnya diya cukup tau, nich cowok nggak ngelirik diya sama sekali. hahaha, jadi yah... ini diya balasan dari cowoknya

(original from Frienster)

"thanx km dah baek be aku.
tp jujur ae aku ga terlalu suka lek diperhatino terus
ama siapa ae.
biasa ae ky temen. aku maune kita temenan ky
biasa. sorry aku ngomong ky gini. tp drpd ntik
akhire ga enak. tp mari aku ngomong gini, km ojok
ngerasa aku jahat be km. kita tetep temen. ok?!"

(LOL, ngakak juga kalo aku liat lagi, ntah apa yang Nadia katakan pada jejaka ini sampai balas seperti itu *purapuralupa)

Anyway, Nadia yang sudah merelakan cintanya, dan udah memulai kisah2 yang baru, tetep aja kepikiran ama si Whest, jadi walaupun kelas 2 SMA, nadia tetep aja punya rasa yang sangat dalam ama nich cowok. sampe suatu saat, nadia mendengar kalo nich cowok punya pacar

JJJJJJJDUARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yah, bila dibayangkan bagaimana rasanya, apalagi cewek ini tuh satu sekolah sama Nadia. melihat mereka gandengan tangan, pangku2an di sekolah.. rasanya golok, pedang, gelati mau keluar semua... Gosshhhhhhh......Nadia yang berusaha kelihatan tegar, tetap berdiri, dan mencari idaman hati yang lain alias pelarian, hingga tiba2 sahabat nadia Regina Lusi dan Caecilian Werdi menyadarkan Nadia untuk berhenti memakai topeng dan menunjukkan kehancurah hatinya, mencoba menerima keadaan.

sore itu hujan lebat, sangat lebat. Saint Albertus Dempo terlihat sangat suram dan gelap.tiada suara lain selain isak tangis Nadia dan tetesan air hujan, Nadia jatuh... terpungkur. nggak cuman keadaan batinnya, tapi fisiknya. Hingga keesokan harinya, Nadia harus di opname karena terjangkit demam berdarah dan trombostinya turun sampe dibawah 100.

Hmmm,,, 10 hari... dan menghabiskan duit 12 juta untuk akhirnya bisa keluar dari rumah sakit..bukan cuman demam berdarah , terlebih karena patah hati... alamakkkkk....
ya lagunya dua itu, Demi waktu dan separuh hati.
akhirnya cowok ini putus pas Nadia keluar rumah sakit, alhamdulilahhh.... Namun ya emang dasarnya NAdia nggak pengen jadian jadi bahagianya diem diem aja,
terus, nggak lama, Nadia mengungkapkan perasaan lagi terhadap nich cowok pake lagunya "Unttitle-Malique d'essensial', dan tidak ditanggapi... kasihannnn....:(

Okay, Aku jadi pengen ketawa kalo falsh back lagi. nich cerita historic abies.. walau nggak happy ending, sebenarnya kalo mau dilanjutin boleh dicoba juga, soalnya cowoknya masih eksis, tinggal disamperin, dideketin, ditanyain lagi...wakakakakakakakakkaka . been 5 years we never see each other...How are you whestt??? masih pendek2 aja?? hahahahah.

udah ah, cukup sekian hidup dalam masa lalunya. ntar disambung yang lebih ironic lagi
hahhahahahaha

Feels so gooooddddd

Hey, My hormone testosterone is increase,... feels so good
the impact is, I'm being so lazy, so cheeky, and ignorance.
what a natural behaviour of taurus! LOL
I'm wearing a total casual with new hoodie from cotton ON, using my sneaker, and sleepy face, going to uni, and doing everything what I want.
It's like a BRAND NEW DAY! Wohooooo
I'm single... I love GUYS, and I love GIRLS tooo... so whoever wants me come take me now before I changes to normal tomorrow!!!!!!
XD

Flash back into my old memories. all the old songs brought me down to deeper memories about all the shitty stuff, painfull, betrayal, but most of them already burried down in the grave yard- just a memories that become part of my life. but there is old love vibration that still alive through all the song which I choose to listen today, those butterflies still in my stomatch and my heartbeat still running even faster when listening to it. GOSH....

I want to living what I want to live! I'm 22, still YOUNG, not going to MARRIED yet! not going to ended my SINGLE soon! so pleaseeeee...entertain me...

gosh! enough.
I'm just bored actually. feels great when I flash back with all that stuff.
but I'm total girl now, and still can enjoy life.
but seriously people... can you please stop assuming that I HAVE BOYFRIEND?
I'M still SINGLE.
but I do have someone... I ALWAYS HAVE (if you knew mw, you know how creepy I am about the love ones)
Hahahahahahahhaha....

anyway, God YOU ARE ROCK!!!!!!
made my day

LX 3 n LX 5 "THE SIBLINGS"

Quote of the day

" We like each other, and start the love night by night"

- Tom Hanks

* YOu know what I meant???? XD

enjoy!

you know,
whenever I tell my self that I am not going to thingking about LOVE,
I have trapped in my own words.
so, here I am trying to manage and understand. no pressure and let it flow.

"I wanna see the world through your eyes for a day,
maybe catch a glimpse of what its like.
To be so beautiful underneath all the pain,
maybe see the soul that lies inside.
You are, the face that you never show.
You are, it hides all I wanna know,let me see.
All you are, it makes my heart break.
All you are, and Im waiting here.All you are, waiting all my life for.
The moment you might step outside show me whats been hiding under there.
When you unlock the gate,
twilights fall daylights break.
Nothing stop the way I felt for you now.
Cause Ive seen through the nights,through the tainted coloured glass.
Saw inside the log behind the shadow.
You are, the face that you never show.
You are, it hides all I wanna know,let me see.
All you are, it makes my heart break.
All you are, and Im waiting here.
All you are, waiting all my life for.
The moment you might step outside show me whats been hiding underneath the past
I know its gone so fast,sometimes the bad things stay.
While all the good tends to fade out of your heart and mine
but somethings left behind and baby no one can take it away yeah."

Me and my first knitting :)

I hate

I hate waiting for you, and worried about you.

especially when I am exhausted, and you don't even know how I miss you!

sigh* T.T

for jeung eun last time

this is the msg that I wrote in korean , for one of my korean friend when she went back.

How cute she still keep it, :)

Enak,tapi..

First baked macaroni cheese..
Selama process baik2 saja..kecuali,
Keasinan gara2 pas buat kebanyakan mikirin kamu! :@

yang ditunggu tunggu dapet juga

baseball jacket !!!!!!

ready for Korean in aussie style :P

quote

Love cannot always be measured by how long you wait.

It's about how well you understand, why you are waiting~

Osbert Zebadiah

I have no idea why I let my self to feel this feeling,

why cupid choose us to be his victim,

but seriously...

this separation will be hard,even only for a month.

just keep in mind, why are we waiting for each other...

will waiting for you here,

:'(

*Thanks for letting me feels the greatest feeling, Lord

Gift

Perhaps, such a long time I never felt like this,

seems so strange, smells so sweet and fly me to the moon.

but please don't let us cross that line,

remains our love for You in the first place,before each other.

Thanks for such a wonderful gift, Lord

will keep it, never regret

:)

Compelete

Now I feel complete..

I feel that I have everything that I need from now.

friends who surrounding me,

community that support me,

Mom that always pray for me,

Someone to share the good and bad,

and God that makes everything perfect.

there is always some point in our life where we feel so thankful and bless.

even for the bad things that happen..

for me, I place totally to Him.

Pray for humbleness Part 2

Take O Lord and receive all my liberty

My memory, my understanding and all my will.

whatever I have and posses, all this things You have given to me

All this things O Lord,

I now place totally at your service

All are Yours to do with as You wish

Assure me only of your love and your grace,

This will be enough for me.

You know, whenever I pray this..I cried

I feel powerless and hopeless

but God wants us to focus on Him, He is the hope, and He will make everything good for you

Remember: He knows you more than you do.

that is when unexpected moment will happen,

and by the time you realised, everything is perfect.

:)

pembicaraan dengan Joko yang membuat titik terang

Akhirnya bisa sharing ama Joko tentang beberapa hal...

Entah kenapa tiap ketemu dia selalu mendapatkan quality time yang maksimal.. suka ;)

Sekalian aku sharing2 tentang pertanyaan2 yang nggak penting sampai pertanyaan2 yang cukup mengganjal pikiranku belakangan ini..

PERTAMAX,

Hari berganti hari aku semakin merasa perubahan fisik yang lumayan ekstrim.

Bukannya aku sok karena jadi kurus, tapi aku beneran nggak diet dan segala macem, biologically emang set slim down keknya.

Terasa jari semakin lentik, kulit semakin halus, tulang pipi dan rahang semakin kuat, pergelangan tangan kelihatan tulangnya. Kaki jadi agak lurus.. pas aku sharing2 ke temen, katanya emang perubahan umur kayaknya J

KEDUA,

Itu adalah tentang perbedaan.

My problem is.. if some conversation always ended with generalisatioin, apakah itu tandanya bagus?

Dr Joko menjawab, tergantung topicnya, kalo emang pendapat tidak bias disatuin, generalisation yang nggak bagus, berarti orangn yg mengeneralisasi itu takut akan kritikan dan menghindari masalah. Lalu diya tanya lagi: “emang generalisasi itu kayak gimana nad?”

“ya kaya ‘ semua orang kan punya pendapat beda beda’ ”

Lalu diya bilang, "itu bukan suatu generalisasi, kalo itu adalah sebuah jawaban, tandanya dia mengerti bahwa nggak setiap orang harus memaksakan kehendak, dan punya pendapat masing2."

"Tapi bukannya itu namanya perbedaan? Kalo setiap pembicaraan selalu nggak bias ketemu, gimana bisa disatukan?"

Dr Joko Menjawab: "Perbedaan emang nggak harus disatukan, namun bisa sejalan. Yang diperlukan itu hanya saling menerima perbedaan itu, dan memhami bahwa dengan perbedaan itu kita jadi bisa menerima orang lain."

"Nah kalo perbedaannya seumur hidup gimana?"

Joko bilang : "Yah itu mah salib elu!"

Serentak aku ngakak! Gila nie orang nyumpahin aku kali mikul salib.

“eh salib itu nggak selalu jelek lho, justru kamu bisa belajar banyak dari memanggul salib itu..”

Bener juga kata nich orang… salib memang berat, tapi itulah tantanggannya dari hidup, maka kita bisa gain something”

KETIGA,

tentang decerment…

Aku bilang sama Joko, aku orangnya nggak perfectcionist, tapi aku pengen semunya smooth and no failure, aku juga bingung apakah itu termasuk perfectcionist ato ngga? Soalnya aku peraya Tuhan kan nggak akan kasih kita maut. Lalu Joko menjawab.

Kamu harus bisa membedakan antara suara Tuhan dan suara hati. Rancangan Tuhan itu bukan rancangan kecelakaan, tapi kan Tuhan juga nggak bilang kalo rancangannya itu mulus2 aja, kadang pencobaan dan kegagalan itu di adakan suapaya kita lebih dekat dengan Tuhan. Yang jelas sama Tuhan itu nggak mungkin Fail.

Nah aku belajar 2 hal yang penting, yang sebenarnya bukan hal baru, dan aku tau, namun karena peridoks2 baru yang menutup pikiranku akhirnya aku lupa tentang hal ini.

Thanks Joko karena sudah mengingatkan J

Mom,

How I hope you were here,

see me growing up, more mature and independent.

I'm no longer your little girl that always nagging and fight with you,

I have changes, more understanding about this life

and I really understand why you did all those things to me.

I wish you were here,

share a lot of thought and give me more advice.

*May God always bless you mom, take care at home , miss you :'(

counting

excatly a week...
7 days togo...
If you got what I meant

Credit

Another appreciation came from Father James today.

It is not the first time he gave credit to me. First, when I have joined choir for the first time and be a Psalm, he credited me of having really great voice. I was new at that time and just accept all the appreciations with smile.

Second, when the first month of handling choir, and at that time, I have learn to be humble, so I didn't accept all the appreciation and credited to God.

and today, he gave another appreciation to me, as a great conductor and encouraging person because I can reach people with the range of ages to sing. at this time, I have totally no pride to my self, I throw the credit to ALL CHOIR MEMBER, and GOD that gave a Faithfulness in me, to do His Job.

I am so thankful for every Love that God has given, and I want to pay with anything as long as I can feel this love forever

Anyway, Joko and me agree that Father James is the only one who appreciate every single person, especially me. So now, I want to appreciate Father James of being our mass father and also thanks for him who always remember me =)

Love you God~

Catholic

Selama 22 tahun jadi seorang Katolik, aku merasa nggak tau apa apa tentang katolik.

malah waktu di Indo terkesan katolik KTP dan njajan terus ke Kristen. akhirnya, pengetahuanku tentang katolik sangat minim.

berasa banget waktu di Adelaide, di saat pengetahuan2 itu dibutuhkan untuk membimbing orang, nggak banyak yang bisa kulakukan dari keterbatasanku ini.

Nyesel banget waktu di Indo nggak pernah ikut retreat awal,

Nyesel karena nggak pernah sungguh2 serius di komunitas katolik.

Nyesel karena selalu memandang rendah kekatolikan mama, dan selalu menentang dengan teologi2 yang aku dapat dari luar, sementara aku nggak jelas basenya dimana.

Menyesal banget karena aku nggak sejak awal mensyukuri betapa kaya katolik akan pengajaran dan history yang benar2 dari Yesus sendiri.

Kalau seandainya aku lebih awal tau, aku akan merasakan cinta dari Tuhan yang luarbiasa ini lebih awal.

Namun, penyesalan itu bukan suatu akhir yang baik... Mama bilang, nggak ada kata terlambat untuk belajar.

Oh mum... even you are so far away, your words still shake me. Thanks Lord for everything.

a strangers...

Today, when I'm waiting for the bus in v-square to go KTM with Joko , it was 6.30, was very dark.

one old man, a bit bold and homely apparel approaching me and asked:

"Are you Catholic?"

without thinking much I said " Yes"

"Oh, good", and He went inside the bus.

Me and Joko stunned, I'm asking him "How he knows? I don't even wearing my cross?"

and Joko said "maybe is the one who asked Ko Sumo last time, tell Ko Sumo later?"

when we have further discussion, they questioning as well

"how he knew? I'm wearing my think-black jacket, without my cross, why he only asked me not Joko?"

and they said " Maybe it's an angle came to you"

I was like " REALLY??"

Me, my self was amaze of my spontaneous response. I might be killed cause I admitted my self as a catholic, he might just shoot me after know who am I, but I choose to believe Jesus as my God and my saviour, I was relief that I admitted him unconsiousely.

But if he is an angel, I might have good report in the God's record, yeay!!

So, would you answer when there is a stranger asking you?

quote of the day

"If loving you is RIGHT, I don't want to be WRONG"

- Kellie Lew Pacis

today's present

Many thank to steve for the headset, you are my hero!, He gave his new one, excatly the same like mine but different colour (it worth of $40) and thanks for carol for the flowers, even it's just for saying thank you because I borrow my phone to you, but it's so meaningfull and lovely :)

for someone out there

"Thank you for letting me feel the concrete love from God, with all appreciation that you have written to me. That's the best gift ever =)"

*thousand thank for You my Lord ♥♥

after birthday party.

I'm really thank full to God for everything that happened in my birthday party yesterday.
there is no words could describe how happy I am, how I feel so precious and loved, from everybody, every friends and family. especially from God...
sampai detik ini, aku masih merasa nggak pantas menerima semua ini, karena aku tau semua ini karena kamurahan Tuhan, yahhh...anggap aja bonus dari Tuhan.

2 birthday cakes..

19 orang datang ke pesta...

100++ wishes in facebook...

and the best thing is... Ma Ver, Pa Wil, Pa Yon, and Mama Hil ngucapin!! komplittt kebahagiaanku

Another extra year for me, Thanks Lord.
beda sama tahun lalu, tahun ini aku lebih siap dalam menghadapi bertambahan umurku. berlapang dada meninggalkan 21 tahun dan menyingsing 22 tahun.
despite tentang angka 2+2=4 (angka fav ku), namu aku merasa lebih ready to accept the matuarity that God has offered to me,sebuah perubahan.
perubahan dalam berpikir, tingkah laku dan memandang hidup. sudah nggak waktunya main main, sudah nggak waktunya egois egoisan, udah nggak waktunya mentingin diri sendiri. ini saatnya untuk memahami perbedaan, mengalah, dan berkorban.

anyway, what I love from this year is I really feel God knows what I need, more than I do.
as usual, I have 3 wishes and I don't have to write down in this blog.
but seems the first wish (the hardest one) is on the way to come true. I just need to Divine more, and interpret the situation, and let's see how time will answer.. I still have the whole year to see the progress, no rush . about the second and third, I think God will consider it as well, and I believe He listen to my prayers every night.

anyway,
NO MORE WEIGHT MEASUREMENT! I'm happy with how I look like right now. I don't have to be so slim, kalo nggak malah kayak bu Hilliana Hwandoyo! kalo emang harus kurus lagi ya makasih, kalo nggak, dengan proporsi segini aku sudah merasa lega. yg penting sehat.

Saya menyadari akan perubahan yang terjadi dalam diri saya, sangat obviouse rasanya! setelah sharing2 dan minta pendapat, ternyata perubahan yang aku alami ini wajar, bagian dari hidup, bagian dari kedewasaan. dan juga anugrah dari Tuhan. karena kedewasaan itu pilihan, dan I don't want to move against nature. tuntutan semakin banyak, udah lebih dari 7 orang bilang suruh cari jodoh, cepet nikah dan lain sebagainya.. apalagi setelah aku telephone mama sehari sebelum ultah, dikasih wejangan banyak lho...
mungkin itu hanya alasan klise para orang tua untuk mengatakan bahwa anak gadisnya sudah dewasa. (aku nya juga pengen tapi masih jauuuhhhh rasanyaaaa)
apalagi kalo udah ngomongin masalah suruh balik rumah nerusin kerjaan orang tua... hmmm ok sich, tapi kalo syaratnya harus cari jodo dulu...yah masihhh lamaaaaa jugaaaaa :)

anyway, i hope that I always on track...keep me in prayer, the war just begun, and my equipment just ready.

Thanks for everything, my birthday it's just one day. but the important thing is your prayer for me, so I can go through this year and having my 23 birthday with loads of love again...

thanks Lord, you are the best!