Saturday, April 30, 2011

character that I need (5)


I need to have someone that always show his love to me; not shy to show our intimacy in front of others, even as simple as saying "Sayang" till we grow old :)

One day to go....

Are you attending to my birthday?? RSPV now !!!
limited invitation :)

Friday, April 29, 2011



2. conversation with Joko n Ivana in tram station...

Nadia: ce JJ ama ko willy itu keren lho, udah 2,5 tahun nikah masih romantis panggil sayang2..
Joko: ya .. kan emang harus gitu
Nadia: ha? emang lu bakal kayak gt besok?
Joko: ya iya lah... kalo di depan anak2 atleast harus paling pa2/ma2, kalo di kamar barung mungkin darling, itu kan kunci pernikahan.
Nadia & Ivana: ngakak..nggak percaya!

if you know joko, you won't trust that it came out from his mouth
*jadi pengen nikahin nie orang XD

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


This blog entry is dedicate to my beloved friend, Joko.

I'm not sure if you guys will have the same impression about him, but for me, since the first time I met him, I know he is one kind.. He is different.
before I continue this post, I don't want you to think that I had crush on him, or I have more intention on him. it's totally wrong.
at that time, I was just normal friend that tried to figure out his character
He is normal guy, with simple look and a bit old-style, not handsome, just decent.
But one thing that I amaze from him is, he has a lot of friends. yes, maybe he just someone that too exist in the community and pretend to know everyone.

Unfortunately, he is not.
He really knows everyone since he works with them before, and he is trying to be friendly. He tries to keep in touch with everyone without looking for their background, trying to catch up and attending every important occasion so all of them feel special. appreciation.
the result is.. everyone loves him!
included me!
I can't stop to admire him, the way he think so critically and considerate, without looking for rewards. he is a normal person with limitation, with a lot of reasons that somehow make him not be able to do more.

When I saw everything that he has done to his friend that came from Melbourne, I really amaze on his sacrifice.
He just met them once, but he is really giving all the best that he can do!
he is not staying in city, he need to take bus in the morning, accompany them to go higher places, went home late, and the next morning he came really early to arrange another trip for them, send them to airport, back again and accompany another friend down to the beach and send them to bus station.
He is doing it without complain, not even look tired!
I'm really amaze him, I just accompany them for a city trip and I was so tired, repeat the same thing, talking the same story, and walking in the same path. I was mumbling in my heart if I can just stay at home and do my assignment (reminder: i have 50% assignment due tomorrow, I just finish 60% of it! ).
but I'm thinking on how Joko want his friends happy, and enjoy Adelaide as much as we love Adelaide, I want to make them happy too and not regret to choose Adelaide as their destination, as place to escape from the crowd of Melbourne city. They are Joko's friend, and now they are my friend too :)

after all done, we really happy!
I'm really glad to be a good partner of him during these days, and really glad that we can help each other.

Dear Joko,
Knowing person like you is a honour to me,
you are one among thousand people in this world that that could inspired me so much!
I can see His love on You, I can see how His works in every thing that you do. you are a blessing to me. to others.
May God bless you always, you are one of my favourite friend!

Monday, April 25, 2011

quotw of the day

"I know I have no ability to change my heart – but I invite God in to do that and make sure I give room for Him to work "

- Jasmine Yow

Sunday, April 24, 2011


40 days has passed,
4 times I have failed to fast
and 4 times i have confession
maybe after this, i need to take 4 meals a day =D

Friday, April 22, 2011

time for wish~

As always..., I have something to wish for my birthday.
somehow, it's fun. but If it's not happened, be ready! ahhaah

This birthday, I have no particular stuff that I really want to get.but, I do need some stuff to make my life in Adelaide feel better. For me, I want to buy new hoodie : with a thick material, red colour and baseball look like. and I want new boots! for home (the fluffy one) and for hang out.
I need bed sheet! since I only have one for the entire year. Oh gosh...
I want to buy new neckles, I saw one in Rundle look like rosary, white and black colour. I plan to get both. and I need black glasses, I lost mine. and the last one is.... NEW JACKET! for winter. woohooo.

anyway, that's the stuff that I want to buy after this easter, to prepare winter.
but seriously, I'm really excited to my upcoming birthday, becauseee...
bu asanah will cook for me and all my friendss!! *thx ibuuuu, love you sooo much!
and the important thing is, I can bake my own birthday cake! ahahhahaahahahaahaha
anyway, I would love everybody that has invited the other day to come to my celebration, because you guys are awesome.
and honestly, I really want Dion to be here as well.. hahaha kind of imposibble! but as long as he remember my birthday will be enough for me.

anyway, why birthday is sooo important to everyone?
I really thanks for my presence in this world, I feel God is whom I want to praise and thanks for the chance that I can live in this world. awesome world and meet a great people like all my friends.
I just want to make it special to my self, because I love how's God created the way I am, I appreciate me being Nadia that has so many love to share with. and I hope He continues to use me in every occasion that He needs.

Lastly, I hope everything going fine, and still blessing spread to all the world, since my birthday is in "Hari RAya Kerahiman Ilahi"

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Journey come to the end

Today is White Thursday, Tomorrow is Good Friday, then Holy Saturday and Easter!
This war almost come to the end.

And I'm so glad that I hold the victory.
I have apologise one of my friend, and erased another painful expirienced from the past friendship.

Can't explain this feeling.
I'm so glad.
Lord love me more :)

Letter from CEO to the preety girl

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.

You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.

If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)

2) Which age group should I target?

3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.

However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".

If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me.


J.P. Morgan CEO

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


credit to ivana susilo
<3 it!!!

Monday, April 18, 2011

I'm still human

Like what I said, recently I have a few things bothering me.
this final week of Lenten really challenges me in the way to offer all my life to God. Awalnya, It's really easy, just about hold the hunger-praying-and put all my will down. tapi semakin hari semakin susah. inget nggak pas Yesus dicobai di padang gurun? bukan pada awal2 puasanya Dia dicobai, malah pada saat hari ke 40, dimana rasa lapar dan haus sudah merajai. Now, I know that is when our body is really tired and our flesh arise.

I'm in pain now, terrible pain.
bukan physically but I'm mentally and physiologically in a war.
Ini berawal dari sakit lama, yang aku kira udah sembuh tapi ternyata udah hampir jadi cancer di hatiku.
Awal saat aku datang di Adelaide, seorang teman yang harusnya menjadi satu satunya penolong, malah menyebabkan sakit luar biasa and hurting me so much! even though she has changes and ask for my forgiveness, and I think I forgave her. Even though she doesn't seems really good to me, I'm trying so hard to pull her from her misery life, give her motivation, introduced her to some of my friends, and gave her hope to finding jobs. and I did pull her up, praise Lord for that. I think that was enough to prove that I sincerely helping her, and forgive her. but God seems doesn't happy with it.
One day, I plan to go holiday with my best friends,sesuatu yang sangat private dan biasanya aku nggak suka orang lain masuk kedalamnya. karena satu kondisi, info ini bocor ke diya (dan sekarang aku bocorin di blog ini) dan she asked me whether she can join or not?

OH MY GOD! It was really burst me out! I'm so angry with my self and with the condition that force me dig out all the bitterness that has been buried down in my heart. damn! seriously, in my human thought, Isn't it enough everything that I gave to her? I almost give everything! without asking any paid, besides somehow she continue to hurt my feelings! and now she wants my precious moment? huh??!!!

That thought suddenly appears in my mind, disturbing me, and killing my day. and there is when I realised that something wrong in my heart, something that God's want to ripped of from my life, so that I can purely serve Him as a servant.

I still hardly to forgive her.

For some of us, we may facing the same situation. my friend said : if you want to serve others, what you need is to Loving, support, and forgive . the last words is the hardest one We may think that we have been forgiving someone, but how can you prove that you are sincerely forgive them after what they have done to you? after all the pains that you got, and ripped your heart, do you really forgave them already?

This is my war. and I'm so blessed that during this time, God doesn't let me alone. He gave me Dion to share and to support me. God doesn't want me to stop to share, If He could stop, He doesn't need to sacrifice His life in the cross, It's enough for Him of being hated by human, people rejected him, and threw stone on Him, but still He needs to sacrifice all his life to prove His love to human. and that's what God's want me to do in different way.

This is ho hard for me, and really hurtfull, trust me, I really want to win this test so that I can prove my love to Jesus, and I really do. this final week will be final of all my pain and bitterness.

This is what Dion sent to me this morning, after I flooded of tears last night:
Ketika kerjamu tidak dihargau,

maka saat itu kau sedang belajar tentang KETULUSAN,

Ketika usahamu dinilai tidak penting,

maka saat itu kau sedang berlajar KEIKHLASAN,

Ketika hatimu terluka sangat dalam,

maka saat itu kau sedang belajar tentang MEMAAFKAN,

Ketika kau harus lelah dan kecewa,

maka saat itu kau sedang belajar tentang KETANGGUHAN,

Ketika kau harus membayar biaya yang sebenarnya tidak perlu kau tanggung,

maka saat itu kau sedang belajar tentang KEMURAHMATIAN,

Tetap sabar, tetap tersenyum, terus belajar,

Karena kau sedang menimba ilmu di universitas KEHIDUPAN,

TUHAN menaruhmu di tempatmu sekarang bukan hanya suatu kebetulan.

Orang yang hebat tidak dihasilkan melalui

kemudahan,kesenangan,dan ketenangan,

mereka dibentuk melalui

kesukaran,tantangan, dan air mata,

Ketika engkau mangalami sesuatu yang sangat berat dan merasa ditinggalkan sendiri dalam hidup ini

Angkatlah tangan dan kepalamu keatas...tataplah masadepanmu, dan ketahuilah

Tuhan sedang mempersiapkanmu untuk menjadi orang yang luar biasa

heart You God, *thanks Dion, do you know that you are the best?? :)

Saturday, April 16, 2011

now and future

Easter semakin dekat, godaan semakin berat. aku semakin diuji dan dihadapkan dengan cobaan cobaan yang sama sekali nggak mudah buatku. peperangan batin. Hidup untuk berbagi, berbagi dengan semua orang, termasuk orang orang yang sudah menyakiti kita, namun seperti lagu, kuberjuang sampai akhirnya, Kau dapati aku tetap setia Tuhan.
Pray for me please~

Despite all obstacles that been pondered me,My life has been really good as always. Today, I really had a great chat with mum.and I just found out, she is really good listener when I called her in unpredictable time.
Today she asked me, whether I want to continue my education in Australia...

Recently, I really got into my sentimental mood. when I passed by Victoria square and look all the tall building, I was wondering all the moments that sparked my life in Adelaide, every single memories is really wonderful, the best in life! and I came across a thought of "when everything will over?" I'm not ready to face this reality.
I love Adelaide so much, there are too many reasons to explain it. the city, the people and the atmosphere, oh God.. but I realized, I can't stay here forever. I need to going back and participate to bring forward fight in the real field.

Thinking of my mom's offer, really makes me happy.. I am so grateful to be the youngest among three, and I have wonderful brothers that can take care of their life. Even though it's as easy as mom's offer, but I am aware there are a lot of things which I need to be considered. mom's condition is not as simple as her offer, and I need to look more realistic.
but overall, I don't think will affect much into my future. I still need to leave Adelaide by the end of this year, and start my real life. Honestly, I didn't close any opportunities that will come up later, I just hope for the best, like everybody does for their life.

I don't want to worried about tomorrow, coz God will take care of it. :)

Friday, April 15, 2011

Show's : Dr.Oz - constipation

Recently, I have continuing to watch TV 1-2 hours per day. the reason why it's because I want to improve my English. another reason is: in fact that I have only afternoon class this semester, and I need to have lunch at home, it such a perfect time to spent with watching TV. what shows that I usually watch?

12pm : Ellen Show / Dr Phil

1pm : Oprah

2pm : Dr. Oz

Seriously, I'm not a Tv freak or having training as a "household mother" that always spent the rest of their day in front of TV. but I learn a lot of stuff from the shows. it's not only an entertainment that makes you laugh, but not seldom tears and loads of surprisings

What I'm going to share today is what I get from Dr.Oz ,

A handsome doctor who has heaps of information that really works on me! I didn't know how a doctor can be an entertainer. Well, good on him! makes a lot of money aye! :) . The information is really realistic, like what do you need to care about when winter comes, and I didn't know that showering too long is actually dehydrate our skin, because chlorine that contain in the water does it to our skin. and he suggest us to time our shower not more that 5 mins. heater too, it absorb our skin moist! no wonder my back always itchy every time I wake up in winter, because I always using electrical blanket.

So, one more thing is about constipation. I believe, this is anybody problem as well. When I was in Malaysia, I had been victim of this disease for so long. I have been never "pup" for 5 days, been taking pills, eat loads papaya and banana (that usually works) , drinking Yakult , and eat vegetable. everything I have done to make the rubbish inside my stomach go out. It took my mood away, ruins my day and seriously I can't do anything.

Today Dr.Oz talking about it, I was so happy to watch it and look at it carefully , after he explain and give an demostration about it, He came to the conclusion; the solution is magnesium. He said that most of the time what we eat is helium that consist in every calories from the food that we eat everyday. and we need magnesium to make it smooth. so I'm doing a research where we can find magnesium, so this is it the result from :

Green vegetables such as spinach are good sources of magnesium because the center of the chlorophyll molecule (which gives green vegetables their color) contains magnesium. Some legumes (beans and peas), nuts and seeds, and whole, unrefined grains are also good sources of magnesium. Refined grains are generally low in magnesium When white flour is refined and processed, the magnesium-rich germ and bran are removed. Bread made from whole grain wheat flour provides more magnesium than bread made from white refined flour. Tap water can be a source of magnesium, but the amount varies according to the water supply. Water that naturally contains more minerals is described as "hard". "Hard" water contains more magnesium than "soft" water.

maybe what I left was "water". water is really not my favourite, but it's really important. believes or not water cures everthing! So,very morning after you wake up try to drink as much as water you can. tap water is the best, afaraid of dirty is never mind, as long as it can makes your stomach react and buzz all the poisons, really can make a good day for you! . click the picture below to know more about it:

Nah, hopefully this can help you guys with the constipation, because It does give me new knowledge :)

Thursday, April 14, 2011


Happy 2 years anniversary!
and I am really glad we have made this far.
really, distance doesn't affect us, eventhough we can't share as much as when we were near, but I believe our hearth still connecting to each other.

Thanks for being such annoying person along our relationship, and yet, at the same time, you are the most interesting person that I ever hung with.
Thanks for make our friendship so preciouse to me nyet!

I love you will all my heart *like Jesus love you too

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

i will fall for a boy who will...

Today is pretty cold in Adelaide,
I'm starting emo-ing my self of being self sensitive.
So, here I come, dreaming about my other half..

Monday, April 11, 2011


Eventhough u getting old,i'm still loving you

I LOVE this pict, so candid

*thx om Jhon :)

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Mom's birthday

hari ini ultah mama, HAPPY BIRTHDAY :)

aku mau menjadi salah seorang di keluarga yang nggak nge-judge mama,
hari ini aku dikasih kabar tanteku kalo beliau undang2 orang di alun2 kota blitar sampai nutup jalan merdeka ( info: jalan merdeka jalan terbesar di blitar, dan alun2 itu centralnya blitar)
I was like "what?? kok makin tua makin jadi" (info lagi: she is really capable to do that)

hatiku berkata "don't judge nad don't judge. I almost called one of my close friend to ask about his opinion what should I do, but I didn't. straight aku tlpn kakak iparku, Stevi, tanya apakah betul
ternyata, jalan merdeka di tutup karena ada BLITAR TEMPO DOELOE, seperti acara kebudayaan bukan karena mama ultah.

Thx Lord for keeping me aware :)
<3 You

INDOfest + concert sheila on7

people said, it's so highschool, but for me, that was soo elementary school. :D
whatever it is, they still rock! and even more, I could see how professional they are.


INDOfest merupakan salah satu acara tahunan bagi warga Indonesia di Adelaide, so since this is my first year, I want to be participated :)
bermula membantu bu Asanah buat kue dari hari Jumat-Sabtu, sampai nonton sheila on7 di d'cavern and menghadiri INDOfest, was really amazing expirienced for me, quarter of it, I felt founded half of my self when I am beside them. so, I realise how Indonesi an I am XD

nggak mau banyak cing cong ling long ting tong, yang jelas concert sheila bener2 ROCK-ing Adelaide, tempatnya di The Cavern, capacity 300 peoples, and It was full. panggung kecil, ada pub di tengah, bener nyantai dech pokoknya, and kita berdiri baris pertama n kedua dari depan , bujubuneng niat benerrrr....demi untuk kecipratan kringet duta *yaelaahhhhh, hahahahha. demi melihat sang legenda lebih jelas lah tepatnya. dan emang ternyata aksi panggung mereka sangat memukau. bertemu mereka di luar sangat berbeda dengan diatas panggung, they are really a SUPERSTAR on the stage.

apalagi si eros, charmnya pas bersama dengan soulmatenya, sangat membuktikan kalo diya musisi sejati, nggak ada habisnya!and see what his secret?

* "i love my sephia" behind his guitar, one of the stage strategic, smart!*

ada cerita ttg "sovenir" dari concert, jadi I was looking at Adam the whole time since he was playing in front of me, and I noticeshe has a lot of pick guitar,which he would throw right after the concert. I didn't get any, and I really wants it! so when I have chance to take picture with them, I asked him personally

"kak, masih ada nggak pick guitarnya? minta donk :D" (sambil memasang tampang cute)
"oh iya masih ada, tp di depan, nanti yah"

aku pegang kata2 Adam,and I waited till they finish the photo session and I came again to ask for the signature, and surprisee Adam still noticed me and said

"oh kamu tadi yang minta pick guitar yah?, ini ini.." sambil mengeluarkan satu kantong plastic pick yang warnanya kuning-biru, jauh lebih keren dari yang merah
"makasiiiiihhhhhhhh" aku dapet dua XD (tapi satunya aku kasih joko)

and Seviella ada kenalan crewnya Sheila, meskipun abang2 tapi orangnya baik, diya ambilin kita pick Adam yg warna merah dari casenya, so saya dapat dua!! :), makasih ya massss

seviella dapet 4 :)

waktu di Indofest, mereka juga membuktikan bahwa mereka still alive, and still the same, 15 years ago and now, they are still Sheila On7

teteup semangat

so this is it, me n Sheila on7, the legend of Indonesian band...

when they were "menghirup udara" before concert

and together as a group.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

7 deadly sins

Sebenarnya, istilah ini muncul pas si Regi tiba2 ngomongin istilah itu di meja makan dinner kita bersama romo selasa lalu, dan aku penasaran, apa lagi sich 7 deadly sins itu? Kalo coba buka di Youtube "7 deadly sins" ya itu adalah semua yang sudah dijelaskan melalu History Channel. cukup jamblang indeed, 7 deadly sins is not state in the bibble, itu rangkuman dari pikiran manusia yang kalo dipikir2 ada benernya juga. maybe if the link above is too "theological" for you, you can try to watch the movie 7 deadly sins which starring by well known cast :
in this movie, they explain rafly about how the sins works among us, and most of the time, we did. this is the summary for every chapter Lust - I watched the beginning of this movie several times, and didn't hear her mention anything specifically on lust, so I have nothing for this one, sorry. Envy - Unrequited lust bites, and it leads to envy. Pride - Pride comes before a fall. It's a super-sized sin. Just ask Lucifer, it got him tossed from heaven. Wrath - Turn kindness inside out and you get wrath. It's the quiet ones who are the most dangerous. Sloth-it brings us down. It stops us. Gluttony - The thing about gluttony is that it's the ultimate selfish act. Greed- If pride is the root of all sin, greed is the sun-kissed fruit. Greed feeds on immediate gratification. Right here, right now. I find out something that regi was talking about the other day, Brad Pitt movie about seven deadly sins. It's kind of horror compare to the movie that I have show you previously, because it is about murderer. the movie called seven Kalo diliat liat lagi serem juga yah, soalnya tanpa sadar kita emang melakukan semua itu, dan itu ada demon di diri manusia. Kalo mau tau lebih lanjut, wikipedia juga menyediakan keterangan tentang ini, sampe di link2 sama nama setan2nya lagi. Don't compromise with any sins, although it's fun and interesting, tapi yang perlu diingat adalah Tuhan count kesetiaan kita bukan cuman pas kita melakukan kebaikan dan tiap kita ke gereja, but to proove our faith in God need the rest of our life. (why 2:10)
"Jangan takut terhadap apa yang harus engkau derita! Sesungguhnya Iblis akan melemparkan beberapa orang dari antaramu ke dalam penjara supaya kamu dicobai dan kamu akan beroleh kesusahan selama sepuluh hari. Hendaklah engkau setia sampai mati, dan Aku akan mengaruniakan kepadamu mahkota kehidupan."

Blog walking + 7 deadly sins

Blog walking : Tuhan itu Maha Pengasih
Maka sesungguhnya

Tidak ada orang yang lebih daripada Anda,
...dan tidak ada orang yang kurang daripada Anda

Orang yang kelihatannya lebih daripada Anda
adalah dia yang Anda perhatikan kelebihannya
dan yang Anda bandingkan dengan kelemahan Anda

Anda pasti memiliki kelebihan
yang menyeimbangkan Anda dengan siapa pun

Yakinilah ini sebagaimana Anda meyakini keadilan Tuhan

Mario Teguh
(took from bloggiewonderland )

Ada benernya juga membaca kembali tentang kutipan di atas.. belakangan ini case ini yang selalu nggangu aku. Melihat orang lain yang jauh lebih baik dari kita, memandang bahwa kita nggak sebaik mereka.. nah ini ENVY namanya. tau nggak kalo ENVY itu salah satu dari 7 deadly sins yang terkenal itu? dan itu yang membuat semuanya jadi berantakan.

Sebenranya mulainya simple, cuman dengan glimpse dan rasa kagum yang berlebihan, mungkin karena diya lebih kaya, cantik, beruntung yang akhirnya bisa jadi sesuatu yang mematikan. kalo dalam film 7 deadly sins ( watch: PART 1 , PART 2 ) , gara2 si cewek itu iri, terus pengen merebut yang diya ingikan dengan segala cara, dan tanpa ia sadari dampaknya adalah kematian seseorang innocent. WHAT?
Jujur, aku merasa berdosa banget tiap kali dikerumunin dengan perasaan envy, susahhhh banget. aku menyadari nobody's perfect. neither me. cuman kebahagiaan dan keberuntungan di luar aja yang aku liat itu, bisa membunuh kebaikanku pelan pelan, karena tanpa sadar itu tertanam dalam hati kita juga. sebenarnya tiap orang itu punya porsi masing2, sekali lagi Tuhan itu Maha Adil kok, kalo kamu dikasih keberuntungan dan kebahagiaan orang lain, belum tentu bisa sebahagia sekarang.

and yah, emang kalo mau jadi humble itu bener2 harus nggak kompromi ama dosa. ampun God...susyahhh... but I will do it, because I love You too much :)
Love Ya! =)

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I want to mee you everyday!

Have you ever want to meet your close friend as often as you can?

because it makes you feel comfortable and realize that you are not alone.

coz, I did ....

I love my profile picture

"What you going to do is forgive them, take your pain and use to help somebody else "
- quote from someone in Oprah this afternoon

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


Hey blog, I tell you a secret what happen to me today, okay?
but don't tell anybody..

I'm sooooo lazy to go ICCS classs,,, AAARrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh!!!!!
but I still need to go, because I promise not to skip clas :(

*can I just stay at homee??? *pheww =(

Monday, April 4, 2011


three of my sins which I was confessed to the Father last Saturday make one conclusion, I need to be humble.I was really confused why he emphasis in this part, rather than my other sins which I worried so much. So it must be one of my critical problem, for keeping my self humble, but I don't really know how to do it, untill Father Robert began new session " how to be humble"

Dia mengajarkan tentang 4 cara mutlak for being humble

  • Tunduk dan merendahkan diri dengan apa yang Tuhan perintahkan

  • Menghargai hidup, tidak mengingini yang lebih-lebih

  • Semua itu milik Allah, and everything that I have now is enough

  • Kemiskinan dan penderitaan bersama Kristus.

after I reflected all these things, deeply, menguras habis tenagaku, tentang bagaimana aku harus menghadapi ini, merubah diriku, dan akhirnya aku sampai pada kesimpulan " Aku nggak sanggup Tuhan" flash back to the reflection that I've gone through, setiap point mengingatkanku kepada hal hal yang terjadi belakangan ini dan yang membuat aku goyah.

point pertama: aku sempet berbincang sama seseorang ttg kegiatan keagamaan, and there was one sentence that really appealed in my mind
"aku sich orangnya nggak yang religius religius banget"
I'm thingking more deeply about it; apakah diya berbicara tentang aku?. nowadays, tau kan stereotype orang ttg orang yang religius2 banget, arahnya pasti yang ke gereja mulu, sok suci, nggak asik (I have experienced that too). tapi apakah dengan jatuh cinta dengan God, mau menuruti apa kataNya, dan selalu tunduk akan perintahnya termasuk golongan "religius banget?". jujur, aku sempet berfikir "aku nggak mau seperti orang yang diya pikirkan". teringatlah aku akan cerita Petrus yang menyangkal Yesus 3 kali, walaupun diya cinta pada Tuhan namun karena diya nggak mau disamakan sebagai pengikut Kristus, diya menyangkal cintanya.

point kedua: youth in my ages, gimana sich caranya tidak mengingini yang lebih lebih. pasti ada rencana2 ke depan yang kita ingini lebih baik dari sekarang. kayak misalnya I have a really nice house right now, karena September aku mau pindah, otomatis aku cari yang lebih enak atau atleast yg seenak rumahku. jadi aku harus keep in mind kalo aku nggak boleh mikir kayak gitu, what??!

point ketiga: sempet menjadi pergumulan banget soal Blackberry, as you know I am not a Blackberry's users. pas aku ngenalin satu temen baru ke temen yang lain, mereka bisa langsung akrab karena tukeran BBpin terus bisa tau conncetion2 mereka dan alamat, mereka tau banyak orang yang sama. dan jujur sich aku merasa out banget saat itu. So I though to changes with BB padahal aku ngerasa aku nggak terlalu butuh, since aku orangnya juga nggak terlalu suka diganggu. nah perasaan "everything that I have now is enough" itu susah....

point keempat: aku bisa saja dibenci karena aku cinta pada Tuhan. padahal setiap orang kan maunya dicintai.dan dengan disukai banyak orang bisa memperluas koneksi dan masuk ke semua group. haduh berat banget yang ini...

after I come across all the thought, I feel so hopeless, no power, helpless, insecure, and kalo aku mau survive, I need to depends on something that I can't see.. oh God! why it is so hard!. It seems so simple in the word, tapi dengan mengandalkan semuanya kepada Tuhan, tanpa berpikir bahwa yes i can do it, makes me look nggak berguna. suddenly my confidence dropped.

In this time, I feel something fill inside of me.

I am sure now, whatever it is going to cost me,I will keep my self long as that what God's intended to do in my life. I will break my wall and let Him go inside of me,and let do His will.
and the result was.. everything was excellent, I didn't what I am doing, because that wasn't me. I don't even remember what I said and did untill made them amaze. that's for the Glory of God

2 Cor 12: 7,9
"Dan supaya aku jangan meninggikan diri karena penyataan-penyataan yang luar biasa itu, maka aku diberi suatu duri di dalam dagingku, yaitu seorang utusan Iblis untuk menggocoh aku, supaya aku jangan meninggikan diri.Tetapi jawab Tuhan kepadaku:"Cukuplah kasih karunia-Ku bagimu, sebab justru dalam kelemahanlah kuasa-Ku menjadi sempurna." Sebab itu terlebih suka aku bermegah atas kelemahanku, supaya kuasa Kristus turun menaungi aku".

God has changes my Life

Many things that I've been thinking about my "calling" these days,
many reasons to stop me to be able reach some extend. and now I know what the reasons are.

This 2 days recollection from KKIA really encourage me in a lot of stuff,
what I can say is : I've gain something, and It changes me.
and there is no other word to explain this, except " Thanks Lord"
for everything that You have done to me, Thanks
for made me understand more, Thanks
and for everything that I have now, It's Your wonderful gift , Thanks...

*and thx Dion for sharing and listening to my story, keep running till the end mate!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

im not the director

Im starting to missing you every second in my life
Yes,we probably enjoying our time together,
let just share what we have now,
because it won't be the same tomorrow,

April mop- NOT FUNNY!

This is what my mom sent me during APRIL MOP

Translate: Has gone to the Father' house Ms Helena Hillaian Hwandoyo (my mom's name) 00.17 am, in 1st April, the body will raise again after april mop ended.

Seriously, Do you think it is funny???