and now...

I'm inside the game..

miss you buddies!

I miss my Indonesian buddies!

although we had been spending the whole day together,

I still miss them so much~

Confession about Friendship

Friendship goes up and down...
no matter what, I love all my friends as the way they are, I accept them with all the positives and negatives personalities,
because I believe we all in earth are born to complete each other. ( I don't talk about best friend now, the range is only friend - good friend)

I do love them with sincerely, as what my Dad said " Love your neighbor as yourself", and I'm tying to apply it in my everyday life. appreciate everyone's effort, not too much, not until worshiping or adore,as simple as give thanks because they are exist, and thank for being my friend
but sometimes, someone might be special in my eyes and deserve the admiration (in their certain behavior that I found totally cool)

Now,
The condition is just I don't like to stick in one group, I like to travel around the world, it goes in to my behavior which is I like to mix with anybody in other group.
If now I am not stick with one group, it's not that I have some hard feeling in particular reason, it's just maybe me, that too bored and wants to get new challenges with get to know new people.

that's all..

good piece of creation by Philip rom

Sunday mass incident

Last Sunday seems going to be another perfect afternoon for me, after what I had on Saturday, I always have a positive though on whatever I am doing.
spent with a new group of friends, I'm trying to mix up with the group, adjusting with the people. It doesn't trouble me so much because I knew most of them before. searching around the Sunday's market, and end up enjoying the whole afternoon beside torrents river. laying down at the grass, playing fun games, and sharing most of the time. really such a beautiful afternoon.
especially when I know that one of my friend which just get to know during outing, she also going to same church with me.. yeay! I will not going to Chuch alone

but then, it turns 180 degrees during the mass...
maybe it's only me that too concentrate and concern about people opinion on my behavior in the mass, especially I'm sitting in front of SFC's member
during the reconciliation (when the bread turns into body of Christ) and as usual, I keep my sacred position to adore the body of Christ,
suddenly there is a ring tone from someones mobile phone ringing...

Lauder...
and Lauder..

I didn't realize until Adela told me it was mine!
OH MY GOD!
struggling with a feeling of panic and shame, I nervously off my phone..
but It didn't turn off properly, because it's rang again in a second.
It was ivy..

I really really feel shame and nervous, I feel bad for my self, for destroy the whole mass, disturbing people, make others inconvenient and the best thing is all happened during reconciliation! :'(
really, I couldn't forgive my self of being reckless with this small thing, I should have silent the phone before mass and if I did it, I shouldn't have ruins up the mass..
reconciliation is the very sacred time in the mass, when everybody needs to praise and quitely follow the mass. and I just ruin up in a second.. with my mobile phone's ring tone!
really, I feel really bad, even until now.
maybe it's just my time, hopefully everybody didn't angry with me, I feel really sorry :'(
I promise, after now and so on, I will keep my phone silent, and never assume that it was in silent mode without checking it in the first place.

Life need a balance
Sometimes you are happy, sometimes sad
but however it's going to be, keep enjoy life!

23 October2010

CAN I STOP THE TIME PLEASE!!!!


I'm sooo happy today,
I'm too happy and really feel bless to what I did..
I thank Lord for everything that happened today, more than combo happiness, I'm too far from happiness, I'M SO HAPPY!!!!
Somehow, this is not fair, but really, I want time to stop now, so I can still enjoying this happiness, and hope tomorrow never come. I want to stay here. right now. and enjoying every moment that I had today...recalling one-by-one the feeling of happiness from several ocsassion that happened today

I proud of my self that I can overcome my fear with helping Chee and Fel to communicate last night, it was one moment that made me glad,made me sleep well,and I have a very GREAT afternoon that I spent with Fredrik! wonderfull till I won't forget it in the rest of my life.. The feeling of acceptance, the fresh air, the green park and the scenery of wedding...it's just perfect! I couldn't get more happy than this, but after that I planned birthday for Don, it's just a simple birthday, but He feel loved! He feel acceptance from us, and It's totally sucessfull (thx for everybody effort to came in his birthday :) ) and I agree to acompany Adrian Chan escape from his boredom with went out late night with Him,i-vy and Steve. We really get a great time, and Thank for Henry that make my night compelete with his home made sushi... I could feel his sincerely and love from the sushi.. I LOVE IT!

Lord, What can make me more happier than this???
Thank a lot! I feel alive :)

joke of the day

Ken is one of SFC's leaders, and tonight he posted a PM,
just that, his friends comment make me laugh, does it? HAHAHAHAHA

credit to my Fb news feed :)

SFC today..

I always had something after I went to the SFC's meeting..
that is why I loved being there.
something doesn't mean a food or gadgets
but knowledge to improve my Christian Life.

and some of it I got it from the words of my friend Ivyjane! (Hi Ivy :* )

Today she said that she would like to pray for her spiritual life,
Everyday, world let us to experienced a pain, trouble and frequently made us dissapointed. That's okay, as long as it's only physical and emotionally infected, It would be fine. because your spirituality will heal it gently.
But, If your spirituality was infected, It would be hundred times much much more harder to healed..


That's true...
hmm

Upcoming event

LORD!! I'm so Happy~~~
Is this reward for me...???

But That is still Saturday..
Am I be able to maintain my happiness till that day?
I hope everything will be fine.. one day Lord, one day..
give me that friendly comfortable feeling, for everything that gonna be happen..

MYCAR!

Thx for Grace n Jane that chased this car a took great shot for me.

IM FREAKING WANTS TO OWN THIS CAR AND THAT PLAT NUMBER IS SO MEE!!

any orange n purple color will suit my car best! haha

funny

joko

Yesterday, accidently ketemu joko d antara bus stop 106 rundle and Grenfell, kenapa aku bilang accidentally? soalnya aku ketinggalan bus dari Currie street and mau ambil the next bus di Rundle, tapi jalan ke bus stop d Grenfell st, nahh ketemu si joko di taman in between..
diya bilang lg exhausted and sakit...,so kita ke magill bareng lo..it's about 4pm..and he told me he wants to take a rest at home.
eh hari ini aku denger dia kerampokan.
this is the news from channel 7..

Jok, iman mu lagi di uji nich, jangan goyah ya.. Kamu nggak sendiri kok, wallmu penuh ama temen2mu yg care ama lu, tandanya lu dicintai.
Semua lost yg kamu alami, pasti bisa dikumpulin lagi pelan2.. tetep percaya, orang yg deket God itu selalu diuji imannya, jangan nyerah ya..trust that there is a great plan behind all those tragedy.

Lost motivatiion

Anyway, Aku lagi lost motivasi yah..
biasa, kalo udah kayak gini males dah ngomong English pengennya ngomong Indonesia, bahasa Jawa Timur, or Malangan sekalian.. haha
Bukan gara2 pre menstruasi ato moody, period is already past, baru habis tepatnya.
Yah anggap aja kalo itu impact dari Menstruasi yang telat, It's still call lost motivation whatever the reasons are.
Bawaannya pengen di rumah mulu, pengen di tempat yang nyaman, aman dan santai..
nggak pengen challange, nggak pengen cari temen, nggak pengen ngerjain tugas
maunya cuman nata diri, nonton movie, dengerin musc, masak, all the house activity will do
Kalo kayak gini kurang lengkap tanpa orang2 yang bisa membuat aku nyaman, because so far, no one in Adelaide could make me feels like I'm home. no body can really be someone to share with, talk to and sombody that really be the next best friend in my life.
Pengen deket mama ( meskipun bakal berantem mulu), atleast ada Alice, Vinny, Christin, Casper, ahk..pokoknya ank2 Dreamers semua lah....
soalnya kalo ada mereka nyaman banget, mereka udah ngerti aku tuh gimana orangnya, in the other words, I don't need to proclaim and explain to them the reason why I'm doing something..
And, It's really difficult to find someone that really accept the way you are, I really aware that It needs a long process, not one or two days, It might takes years...

And now, Even I really lazy to go out from my comfy territory, I still need to step out from it..
because All the assignments are waiting for me. Even some of them made me frustrated
Yeah, namanya juga kuliah... belajar.. kalo nggak mau stres ya nggak usah kuliah ya to... belum lagi ntar kerja ... Alamak...
Masalah assignment nich juga yang bikin aku agak depression... The lecture always said a good stuff at the front, like all the student done a fantastic job, and average mark is C, tapi muncul2 cuman dapet p2, ngasihnya pelit banget... jadi berasa dodol saya :'(

In the first place, aku udah bilang kalo aku tu nggak terlalu pinter, tapi ok lah untuk seukuranku... suka brainstorm, mau belajar, ada usaha, creative... tapi kalo masalah languanges emang tetep jadi hambatan yah.
Atleast, I really want to learn..meskipun aku bisa dibilang cuman "P" person... P1, P2 enough la... kalo masalah design, movie, presentation I expect my self to get C keatas...
Aku suka major ku kok, Communication.. aku nggak merasa ini itu joke or sampah, cause I learn something, and this where my passions are..
tapi kalo udah namanya lost motivation.. mau ngomong ngalor ngidul juga kayaknya bull shit.
Bisa dibilang aku lagi males ngadepin reality yang pasti selalu menantangku..
Usually, If people want to avoid the reality, they usually watch movie or sleep to kill the day..
at least I'm not doing it tho.. watch movie iya lah kemaren..soalnya emang lagi kagak ada kerjaan... kalo hari ini (Lost motivation kan hari ini) aku masih sempet work out, lari2 di park, connect with people in FB.. sms temen.. masih exist lah. walau nich internet yah lemotnya masyaallaaahhh....ngalah2i netnya indo..tetep sabar..
And I still remember that there is someone that waiting for me, while I'm enjoying my lost motivation time. Ooops.. did I just said "enjoying"? berarti nggak bener2 lost motivation donk benernya.haha
I'm a person that easy to be motivated, and I love to motivate others.
Yang nunggu aku itu God ama Holly spirit maksudnya.. If I have God, I will not down that easy.

Oh ya, My "lost motivation's time" following by the melody of mellow korean music that I've just download yesterday night, Gothcha! finnally I can updated! I'm listening to the one of the old boyband, they have amazing voice... 4men, boleh di check :)

Even I love Worship song, but I couldn't put aside my identity, Korean mellow song.
That will always make my life meaningfull, and that is how I enjoy every second in my life.

yeah, shot update~oops.. actually quite long
X.0.X.0

Diet starting Tommorow.

I'm gaining weight...

Yea, I think I've gain weight.

Because of Winter end, then spring coming with the same degree Celsius that I had in tropical country like Malaysia and Indonesia, give me the same impression of the same lifestyle that I had before, same appetite, same sensation and habitually, the same!
I found out that my eating disorder are back. OH EM GE
always hungry, and keep eating a small amount but unstoppable, I've been shopping a cooking like thousand times and all finish in a count of days!
This is spring, summer, need to wear something special, when the time we showing our body shape, my fatty actually growing, ye right!
But, That is good reason because I can have the same amount of spirit of work out at the same time, keep it balance with my big appetite of enjoying snack- my new fav, and finish one box of cookies for one study session ( I hav plenty for a week)
and yeah, and I decided to pull back my normal lifestyle with healty living

DIET START TOMORROW.
Safe money, Safe energy.

Even I need to sacrifice some of the moment, such as no dinner, misss out some gathering because I couldn't sleep too late
or being left out because I need to have more time with my self.
no worries, as long as I can get back my spirit of loosing weight, back to my vission and mission,
For Me, I don't want to spend the rest of my single life with being fatty and uncountable because of weight,

God help me to back in my track!

realize

I just realize that my penjajakan is always with a fight...
with a violent action.. or argue.
even when I'm changes now, I'm still doing it.
kind of difficult to start it with peaceful..
yes, you know I have not enough charm to be a good kind of girl
to make other people attract to me immediately
but when I'm fighting, act like a guy and do harsh thing, everything will be not awkward
and really easy to minggle.
oh gosh... kind of tired
I wish I could start with something that can bring up my value as a girl, appreciate me as a God creature with some admirable maybe?
Not with the fight or something abnormal that will not gain any pain.. kind of had enough.
I really need to try, not start in this way,
some of experiences told me that if the guy can't control their emotion, they tend to abuse us
hmmm
but yea, I hope that God gimme a way, at least a choice to get to know someone without doing violent thingy
sometimes it's kind of tiring tho..

Me always be what I want to be, eversince I try to throw it from my life, it's still be part of me.
ME always be Me. even when I'm physically change, Inside never totally change.,

plagirism korean style by Indonesia boyband

but some of them are good looking! AHaHAHAHA

I'm gonna tell you ......

OKE..start!

I'm gonna tell you that I have 3000++ words of assignment,
will due less then 24 hours.

I'm gonna tell you that now I'm stuck on 1.5 k words
and it's still rough draft with unorganized research structure

I'm gonna tell you that I don't even understand deeply on my question
changing my mind in every start, I don't know how to answer it properly

I'm gonna tell you THIS IS 9 UNITS SUBJECT
the difficulty can make you want to jump to hell

I'm gonna tell you I'm stuck!
but I still can laugh unconsciously on facebook

I'm gonna tell you that I need someone to help me think logically
usually Alice will do it for me

I'm gonna tell you usually I wrote blog to clear my mind
and believe after doing this I can have more inspiration

I'm gonna tell you that I plan not to sleep tonight
make my self awake with any possibility to make this assgment right

I'm gonna tell you I'm woldn't give up!
even only to get a P1!

I'm gonna tell you that I'm not sure that I can get p1
maybe p2, as long as it's not failed

I'm gonna tell you that I CAN DO THIS!
with Jesus Christ everything is possible

Amien.

My new method of doing assigment

eyaaaaaaaa!! :P
5 seeds cider with 5.0% alcohol. excellent!

-is not- A joke in class

Today, during the Com n Org lecturer, we were talking about the workers that migrant in other country
This is started by one Australian guy, my friend who took the same Creative feature writing subject, asking about the loads of Asian migrant to other country because of the job.
I pretty blur about it, until they talking about who work-where.
the lecture asked, who work the most in Singapore? so some of the students said Malaysian, Indonesian and so on...

"...and what about Malaysia?"

and one of them said "Indonesian" , yea that's my country..
" .... and why they work there?" Collete threw a question , I said in medium volume,
" because we have loads population"
but one of the Malaysian student,-who has big mouth and always pretend like she is the best speaker in class- said
" because they only know how to make babies".

I was pretty rebel at that time, "oh yea, I will make baby after this " shouted me,
and Eva-my Malaysian friend tab my shoulder. (thx eva!)

This is totally not a joke for me, she should watch her mouth carefully!
try to put her self in our shoes, and see what her reaction.
If you talking about Indonesia, you are talking about 470 million people that live in a huge land. compare with Malaysia that only 28million, not even 10% of our population! is only can compare with Jakarta- one city in Indonesia.
and Imagine how hard to lead this huge country?
Even your datuk might not be able to handle it.

Hey woman! If you can answer this question with a correct answer.. then you can say that we only know how to make baby..
*sigh!

a Question

" Why you can be this happy everyday? "

asked a friend of mine.
It's kind of creepy question when you actually don't realize that you do it.

Well, most obviously, because I have someone that loves me everyday, and I can feel it really true , in every second in my life.

That's why I'm always happy :)
*thanks for threw this question to me

another good medley

In my stressfull day

Yeah, I'm here... but apparently when I'm writing this blog, I'm not alone

I spent the whole day looking for some resources but I couldn't get it. I'm struggling with Com n Org assignment, 3 k word with 20 references which I haven't get any! and due on this Friday. not only that, I have 1,5 k profile that due in the same day.
Oh Lord save me from this pathetic weeks... "@#?$%@$&*>?"
I'm traveled to every library in the city: City east, City West, even I went to Magill
but they all close because it's Labour day, and I wasted one day without doing any assgment.
at least I'm trying....
yea, it's kind of sucks day, and I was alone traveling to the whole city in almost 3 days in a row.
but somehow, I've kind of enjoyed it.. maybe I need to have some rest and being lonely to giving my self space for better reflection after everything that happened to me these days...
but, even when I'm physically alone, I knew I'm not....
and when I'm traveled, I'm actually meet alot of friends, but just say hi and bye..
I drop by in Jason's house, meet Adrian leong in City east, and meet Adrian Phang in Rundle mall...we end up enjoying our self in Victoria square, like what I did with jony yesterday
I'm thingking again.. I'm not exactly alone. I meeting everybody in different sequence and time, and share them a small place in my life, something that worth to remember :)

Yea I believe in one quotation...

‎"A coincidence is a small miracle in which GOD chooses to remain s0me0ne

yea, and I'm absolutely agree with it ;)
although sometimes I don't believe that it suppose to called as "miracle"
because miracle is something that you need to believed as a gift. when I try to believe on it once, I was drawn in it, and I'm actually falling for someone... you know, loving someone means hurting your self.
I don't want that to happen anymore. and I could see when that I've overcome it when the coincidence happened again to us this afternoon :), I don't feel anything, anymore.
but yea, miracle seems doesn't suit me now, especially for love.

Anyway, I gotta do my assignment...
:)