I want to mee you everyday!

Have you ever want to meet your close friend as often as you can?

because it makes you feel comfortable and realize that you are not alone.

coz, I did ....

I love my profile picture

"What you going to do is forgive them, take your pain and use to help somebody else "

- quote from someone in Oprah this afternoon

secret

Hey blog, I tell you a secret what happen to me today, okay?
but don't tell anybody..
.
.
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I'm sooooo lazy to go ICCS classs,,, AAARrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh!!!!!
but I still need to go, because I promise not to skip clas :(

*can I just stay at homee??? *pheww =(

HUMBLE

three of my sins which I was confessed to the Father last Saturday make one conclusion, I need to be humble.I was really confused why he emphasis in this part, rather than my other sins which I worried so much. So it must be one of my critical problem, for keeping my self humble, but I don't really know how to do it, untill Father Robert began new session " how to be humble"

Dia mengajarkan tentang 4 cara mutlak for being humble

• Tunduk dan merendahkan diri dengan apa yang Tuhan perintahkan


• Menghargai hidup, tidak mengingini yang lebih-lebih


• Semua itu milik Allah, and everything that I have now is enough


• Kemiskinan dan penderitaan bersama Kristus.

after I reflected all these things, deeply, menguras habis tenagaku, tentang bagaimana aku harus menghadapi ini, merubah diriku, dan akhirnya aku sampai pada kesimpulan " Aku nggak sanggup Tuhan" flash back to the reflection that I've gone through, setiap point mengingatkanku kepada hal hal yang terjadi belakangan ini dan yang membuat aku goyah.

point pertama: aku sempet berbincang sama seseorang ttg kegiatan keagamaan, and there was one sentence that really appealed in my mind

"aku sich orangnya nggak yang religius religius banget"

I'm thingking more deeply about it; apakah diya berbicara tentang aku?. nowadays, tau kan stereotype orang ttg orang yang religius2 banget, arahnya pasti yang ke gereja mulu, sok suci, nggak asik (I have experienced that too). tapi apakah dengan jatuh cinta dengan God, mau menuruti apa kataNya, dan selalu tunduk akan perintahnya termasuk golongan "religius banget?". jujur, aku sempet berfikir "aku nggak mau seperti orang yang diya pikirkan". teringatlah aku akan cerita Petrus yang menyangkal Yesus 3 kali, walaupun diya cinta pada Tuhan namun karena diya nggak mau disamakan sebagai pengikut Kristus, diya menyangkal cintanya.

point kedua: youth in my ages, gimana sich caranya tidak mengingini yang lebih lebih. pasti ada rencana2 ke depan yang kita ingini lebih baik dari sekarang. kayak misalnya I have a really nice house right now, karena September aku mau pindah, otomatis aku cari yang lebih enak atau atleast yg seenak rumahku. jadi aku harus keep in mind kalo aku nggak boleh mikir kayak gitu, what??!

point ketiga: sempet menjadi pergumulan banget soal Blackberry, as you know I am not a Blackberry's users. pas aku ngenalin satu temen baru ke temen yang lain, mereka bisa langsung akrab karena tukeran BBpin terus bisa tau conncetion2 mereka dan alamat, mereka tau banyak orang yang sama. dan jujur sich aku merasa out banget saat itu. So I though to changes with BB padahal aku ngerasa aku nggak terlalu butuh, since aku orangnya juga nggak terlalu suka diganggu. nah perasaan "everything that I have now is enough" itu susah....

point keempat: aku bisa saja dibenci karena aku cinta pada Tuhan. padahal setiap orang kan maunya dicintai.dan dengan disukai banyak orang bisa memperluas koneksi dan masuk ke semua group. haduh berat banget yang ini...

after I come across all the thought, I feel so hopeless, no power, helpless, insecure, and kalo aku mau survive, I need to depends on something that I can't see.. oh God! why it is so hard!. It seems so simple in the word, tapi dengan mengandalkan semuanya kepada Tuhan, tanpa berpikir bahwa yes i can do it, makes me look nggak berguna. suddenly my confidence dropped.

In this time, I feel something fill inside of me.

I am sure now, whatever it is going to cost me,I will keep my self obey...as long as that what God's intended to do in my life. I will break my wall and let Him go inside of me,and let do His will.
and the result was.. everything was excellent, I didn't what I am doing, because that wasn't me. I don't even remember what I said and did untill made them amaze. that's for the Glory of God

2 Cor 12: 7,9

"Dan supaya aku jangan meninggikan diri karena penyataan-penyataan yang luar biasa itu, maka aku diberi suatu duri di dalam dagingku, yaitu seorang utusan Iblis untuk menggocoh aku, supaya aku jangan meninggikan diri.Tetapi jawab Tuhan kepadaku:"Cukuplah kasih karunia-Ku bagimu, sebab justru dalam kelemahanlah kuasa-Ku menjadi sempurna." Sebab itu terlebih suka aku bermegah atas kelemahanku, supaya kuasa Kristus turun menaungi aku".

God has changes my Life

Many things that I've been thinking about my "calling" these days,

many reasons to stop me to be able reach some extend. and now I know what the reasons are.

This 2 days recollection from KKIA really encourage me in a lot of stuff,

what I can say is : I've gain something, and It changes me.

and there is no other word to explain this, except " Thanks Lord"

for everything that You have done to me, Thanks

for made me understand more, Thanks

and for everything that I have now, It's Your wonderful gift , Thanks...

*and thx Dion for sharing and listening to my story, keep running till the end mate!

im not the director

Im starting to missing you every second in my life
Yes,we probably enjoying our time together,
let just share what we have now,
because it won't be the same tomorrow,

April mop- NOT FUNNY!

This is what my mom sent me during APRIL MOP

Translate: Has gone to the Father' house Ms Helena Hillaian Hwandoyo (my mom's name) 00.17 am, in 1st April, the body will raise again after april mop ended.

Seriously, Do you think it is funny???