Maybe it's just because of me, my period came and I couldn't resist my temperament which getting worst. I hate people blame me because of their fault, and I hate people who interrupt me,and didn't understand my condition. worst, those people are my close friends. they totally ruined up my day. plus, My beloved still in camp, and I couldn't contact him at all, even there are some friends who willing to listen to me, but somehow it affects my mood.
I always want to think, maybe it's not because of me, somehow I need to fight against those small problems that wasn't suppose to be my responsibility, sometimes I should let them know what I have done to them, so that they will have more understanding,
but in the end, it doesn't work. it end up fight and it's pain.
I can feel the burn inside my heart, and my head exploded and feels like shout to them. I feel like hurt them back 100 times deeper! luckily it didn't happened.
this is my bad character. I didn't like people to take over my power, they don't have right to limit my movements, especially control for whatever I want to do. that's me, even how hard I tried to hide, it's still inside me. I just need to control it.
and Luckily, Father never leave me, every time I see His picture, my heart start to melt, and tears dropping. I feel so shame about what I have proud of, because my dignity, my pride which makes me so powerful,because it's nothing for Him. it's not what He wants from me...
oh God, even good people should feel the pain from those who their loved.
God, forgive me.. I'm just a human.. please forgive me,
and heal this pain.
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