good friday

Hey Brian!,
this post always remains in every good Friday, so touch. and YES! it is started to dark now, an hour before mass.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Good Friday

Ever since I was a lil kid, we always go to Good Friday mass at noon, and always, my mom tells me this: it's gonna rain during the mass, as usual, definitely.

Years have passed, and this is the second Good Friday without me going to mass with my family, but the words stick right at my heart, as I recall now how I told Marco what my mom always says to me about the rain, and I said, let's see if it rains, this afternoon.

And right at this moment, as the rest of family is attending the Good Friday mass back in Jakarta and as I listen to Danny Gokey's rendition of Stand By Me, the rain is pouring out there. Just nice, just right. My mom is right. It's raining.

I want you to stand by me, God. Stand by me. 

I feel blessed. I thank God.

love life

after longg process of discernment
Thanks God for trusting me to taking care of him,
will never disappoint you :)
and please let him know to love me with with all his heart,
and taking care of me, as You do.




I know that we can going through this,
there is nothing call distance in Love.

can't wait to hold your hands sayang~ x.o.x.o

love quote

Do not afraid to love,

if it doesn't bite means it is not reaL

-Alice Suryadi

iva....

the label is taken out, the folder is reused
but the person is irreplaceable, the memories are unforgettable

-Reginald Jahja

bukan mantan pacar saya....

tapi the most preciouse guys in my life....

for now =='

akhirnya balik juga

Yuhuuu, akhirnya si Dion balik juga dari indonesia,

setelah sebulan terpisah oleh ratusan pulau dan ribuan kilometer, even wassap and internet nggak bisa totally connect kita. benar2 sebulan yang menyedihkan (buat saya).

dan welcome juga buat periodku yang ikut2 datang dan pergi kayak Dion *loh! , soalnya bulan lalu aku dapet pas Dion pul indo, ini ditunggu2 dapetnya pas Dion balik sini.. nah period, lu emang ada hubungan apa sama dion? #periodselingkuhyaaa

Anyway, siap siap menyadari apa yang berubah setelah ditinggalkan selama sebulan oleh teman curhatku ini ..

yang aku tau, I hardly to tell him how I feel and what I want. soalnya udah sebulan aku nggak speak up tetang apa yang ada dipikiranku secara mendetail sama orang lain, like what we used to share everyday. soalnya semenjak kepergian dia aku nggak ada temen bicara heart to heart dan lebih cenderung meletakkan semua ke Tuhan. soalnya tlpn indo mahallll, udah gitu Dion ga mau tlpn ak lg..huhuhuhu.. #terlupakandotcom :(

skrg aku harus pelan2 mengumpulkan cerita2 bahagia dia selama di Indo, untuk bisa conncet balik hubungan kita sebelum kita travelling ke Tasmania.

Ups, did I just said that??

Yeeappp..., minggu depan, tepatnya hari selasa,I will going to travel for 9 days, Melbourne and Tasmania. nggak cuman berdua ama Dion donkkkk (nanti kl ama dia berangkat 2 pulang 3org, LOL) , tapi juga sama Joko and Ce Christin.

namun, sebelum membayangkan hal hal indah yang akan terjadi, ato hal hal buruk *choy! , aku harus menyelesaikan advertising assigment 'laknat' ini (TM: cicilia iskandar & eveline indra)

serius mann, pressure abis... masak harus ngerjain 2000 wordS dalam waktu 3 hari se?? nggak penuh lagi soalnya minggu harus choir hari minggu and senen due nya jam 5 sore , dan masalahnya... AKU BELUM NYENTUH SAMA SEKALII (mampoesssssssss)

ini bukan salah saya saudara2 karena hari2 sebelumnya ada assigment juga, yang due hari ini. semuanya worth 50% nd required 2000 words above.. woohoooooooo

yah begitulah derita orang golongan darah A, kalo nggak percaya diri nggak bakal maju maju (loh! apa hubungannya?) hahahha

yang jelas, saya punya keyakinan bahwa ini assignment bakal kelar! apalagi ada si suara tinggi yang udah available di telpon kapan aja unutuk menuangkan uneg2 saia (ya dion ya :P)

Yah doakan rahmat Tuhan mengalir atas saya. AMIEN

for jeung eun last time

this is the msg that I wrote in korean , for one of my korean friend when she went back.

How cute she still keep it, :)

Enak,tapi..

First baked macaroni cheese..
Selama process baik2 saja..kecuali,
Keasinan gara2 pas buat kebanyakan mikirin kamu! :@

quote

Love cannot always be measured by how long you wait.

It's about how well you understand, why you are waiting~

Osbert Zebadiah

I have no idea why I let my self to feel this feeling,

why cupid choose us to be his victim,

but seriously...

this separation will be hard,even only for a month.

just keep in mind, why are we waiting for each other...

will waiting for you here,

:'(

*Thanks for letting me feels the greatest feeling, Lord

pembicaraan dengan Joko yang membuat titik terang

Akhirnya bisa sharing ama Joko tentang beberapa hal...

Entah kenapa tiap ketemu dia selalu mendapatkan quality time yang maksimal.. suka ;)

Sekalian aku sharing2 tentang pertanyaan2 yang nggak penting sampai pertanyaan2 yang cukup mengganjal pikiranku belakangan ini..

PERTAMAX,

Hari berganti hari aku semakin merasa perubahan fisik yang lumayan ekstrim.

Bukannya aku sok karena jadi kurus, tapi aku beneran nggak diet dan segala macem, biologically emang set slim down keknya.

Terasa jari semakin lentik, kulit semakin halus, tulang pipi dan rahang semakin kuat, pergelangan tangan kelihatan tulangnya. Kaki jadi agak lurus.. pas aku sharing2 ke temen, katanya emang perubahan umur kayaknya J

KEDUA,

Itu adalah tentang perbedaan.

My problem is.. if some conversation always ended with generalisatioin, apakah itu tandanya bagus?

Dr Joko menjawab, tergantung topicnya, kalo emang pendapat tidak bias disatuin, generalisation yang nggak bagus, berarti orangn yg mengeneralisasi itu takut akan kritikan dan menghindari masalah. Lalu diya tanya lagi: “emang generalisasi itu kayak gimana nad?”

“ya kaya ‘ semua orang kan punya pendapat beda beda’ ”

Lalu diya bilang, "itu bukan suatu generalisasi, kalo itu adalah sebuah jawaban, tandanya dia mengerti bahwa nggak setiap orang harus memaksakan kehendak, dan punya pendapat masing2."

"Tapi bukannya itu namanya perbedaan? Kalo setiap pembicaraan selalu nggak bias ketemu, gimana bisa disatukan?"

Dr Joko Menjawab: "Perbedaan emang nggak harus disatukan, namun bisa sejalan. Yang diperlukan itu hanya saling menerima perbedaan itu, dan memhami bahwa dengan perbedaan itu kita jadi bisa menerima orang lain."

"Nah kalo perbedaannya seumur hidup gimana?"

Joko bilang : "Yah itu mah salib elu!"

Serentak aku ngakak! Gila nie orang nyumpahin aku kali mikul salib.

“eh salib itu nggak selalu jelek lho, justru kamu bisa belajar banyak dari memanggul salib itu..”

Bener juga kata nich orang… salib memang berat, tapi itulah tantanggannya dari hidup, maka kita bisa gain something”

KETIGA,

tentang decerment…

Aku bilang sama Joko, aku orangnya nggak perfectcionist, tapi aku pengen semunya smooth and no failure, aku juga bingung apakah itu termasuk perfectcionist ato ngga? Soalnya aku peraya Tuhan kan nggak akan kasih kita maut. Lalu Joko menjawab.

Kamu harus bisa membedakan antara suara Tuhan dan suara hati. Rancangan Tuhan itu bukan rancangan kecelakaan, tapi kan Tuhan juga nggak bilang kalo rancangannya itu mulus2 aja, kadang pencobaan dan kegagalan itu di adakan suapaya kita lebih dekat dengan Tuhan. Yang jelas sama Tuhan itu nggak mungkin Fail.

Nah aku belajar 2 hal yang penting, yang sebenarnya bukan hal baru, dan aku tau, namun karena peridoks2 baru yang menutup pikiranku akhirnya aku lupa tentang hal ini.

Thanks Joko karena sudah mengingatkan J

counting

excatly a week...
7 days togo...
If you got what I meant

quote of the day

"If loving you is RIGHT, I don't want to be WRONG"

- Kellie Lew Pacis

today's present

Many thank to steve for the headset, you are my hero!, He gave his new one, excatly the same like mine but different colour (it worth of $40) and thanks for carol for the flowers, even it's just for saying thank you because I borrow my phone to you, but it's so meaningfull and lovely :)

for someone out there

"Thank you for letting me feel the concrete love from God, with all appreciation that you have written to me. That's the best gift ever =)"

*thousand thank for You my Lord ♥♥

smart

1.

2. conversation with Joko n Ivana in tram station...

Nadia: ce JJ ama ko willy itu keren lho, udah 2,5 tahun nikah masih romantis panggil sayang2..

Joko: ya .. kan emang harus gitu

Nadia: ha? emang lu bakal kayak gt besok?

Joko: ya iya lah... kalo di depan anak2 atleast harus paling pa2/ma2, kalo di kamar barung mungkin darling, itu kan kunci pernikahan.

Nadia & Ivana: ngakak..nggak percaya!

if you know joko, you won't trust that it came out from his mouth

*jadi pengen nikahin nie orang XD

Joko

This blog entry is dedicate to my beloved friend, Joko.

I'm not sure if you guys will have the same impression about him, but for me, since the first time I met him, I know he is one kind.. He is different.

before I continue this post, I don't want you to think that I had crush on him, or I have more intention on him. it's totally wrong.

at that time, I was just normal friend that tried to figure out his character

He is normal guy, with simple look and a bit old-style, not handsome, just decent.

But one thing that I amaze from him is, he has a lot of friends. yes, maybe he just someone that too exist in the community and pretend to know everyone.

Unfortunately, he is not.

He really knows everyone since he works with them before, and he is trying to be friendly. He tries to keep in touch with everyone without looking for their background, trying to catch up and attending every important occasion so all of them feel special. appreciation.

the result is.. everyone loves him!

included me!

I can't stop to admire him, the way he think so critically and considerate, without looking for rewards. he is a normal person with limitation, with a lot of reasons that somehow make him not be able to do more.

When I saw everything that he has done to his friend that came from Melbourne, I really amaze on his sacrifice.

He just met them once, but he is really giving all the best that he can do!

he is not staying in city, he need to take bus in the morning, accompany them to go higher places, went home late, and the next morning he came really early to arrange another trip for them, send them to airport, back again and accompany another friend down to the beach and send them to bus station.

He is doing it without complain, not even look tired!

I'm really amaze him, I just accompany them for a city trip and I was so tired, repeat the same thing, talking the same story, and walking in the same path. I was mumbling in my heart if I can just stay at home and do my assignment (reminder: i have 50% assignment due tomorrow, I just finish 60% of it! ).

but I'm thinking on how Joko want his friends happy, and enjoy Adelaide as much as we love Adelaide, I want to make them happy too and not regret to choose Adelaide as their destination, as place to escape from the crowd of Melbourne city. They are Joko's friend, and now they are my friend too :)

after all done, we really happy!

I'm really glad to be a good partner of him during these days, and really glad that we can help each other.

Dear Joko,

Knowing person like you is a honour to me,

you are one among thousand people in this world that that could inspired me so much!

I can see His love on You, I can see how His works in every thing that you do. you are a blessing to me. to others.

May God bless you always, you are one of my favourite friend!

♥ you

quotw of the day

"I know I have no ability to change my heart – but I invite God in to do that and make sure I give room for Him to work "

- Jasmine Yow

time for wish~

As always..., I have something to wish for my birthday.

somehow, it's fun. but If it's not happened, be ready! ahhaah

This birthday, I have no particular stuff that I really want to get.but, I do need some stuff to make my life in Adelaide feel better. For me, I want to buy new hoodie : with a thick material, red colour and baseball look like. and I want new boots! for home (the fluffy one) and for hang out.

I need bed sheet! since I only have one for the entire year. Oh gosh...

I want to buy new neckles, I saw one in Rundle look like rosary, white and black colour. I plan to get both. and I need black glasses, I lost mine. and the last one is.... NEW JACKET! for winter. woohooo.

anyway, that's the stuff that I want to buy after this easter, to prepare winter.

but seriously, I'm really excited to my upcoming birthday, becauseee...

bu asanah will cook for me and all my friendss!! *thx ibuuuu, love you sooo much!

and the important thing is, I can bake my own birthday cake! ahahhahaahahahaahaha

anyway, I would love everybody that has invited the other day to come to my celebration, because you guys are awesome.

and honestly, I really want Dion to be here as well.. hahaha kind of imposibble! but as long as he remember my birthday will be enough for me.

anyway, why birthday is sooo important to everyone?

I really thanks for my presence in this world, I feel God is whom I want to praise and thanks for the chance that I can live in this world. awesome world and meet a great people like all my friends.

I just want to make it special to my self, because I love how's God created the way I am, I appreciate me being Nadia that has so many love to share with. and I hope He continues to use me in every occasion that He needs.

Lastly, I hope everything going fine, and still blessing spread to all the world, since my birthday is in "Hari RAya Kerahiman Ilahi"

Woohooo!!!!!

Comics

credit to ivana susilo
<3 it!!!

I'm still human

Like what I said, recently I have a few things bothering me.
this final week of Lenten really challenges me in the way to offer all my life to God. Awalnya, It's really easy, just about hold the hunger-praying-and put all my will down. tapi semakin hari semakin susah. inget nggak pas Yesus dicobai di padang gurun? bukan pada awal2 puasanya Dia dicobai, malah pada saat hari ke 40, dimana rasa lapar dan haus sudah merajai. Now, I know that is when our body is really tired and our flesh arise.

I'm in pain now, terrible pain.
bukan physically but I'm mentally and physiologically in a war.
Ini berawal dari sakit lama, yang aku kira udah sembuh tapi ternyata udah hampir jadi cancer di hatiku.
Awal saat aku datang di Adelaide, seorang teman yang harusnya menjadi satu satunya penolong, malah menyebabkan sakit luar biasa and hurting me so much! even though she has changes and ask for my forgiveness, and I think I forgave her. Even though she doesn't seems really good to me, I'm trying so hard to pull her from her misery life, give her motivation, introduced her to some of my friends, and gave her hope to finding jobs. and I did pull her up, praise Lord for that. I think that was enough to prove that I sincerely helping her, and forgive her. but God seems doesn't happy with it.
One day, I plan to go holiday with my best friends,sesuatu yang sangat private dan biasanya aku nggak suka orang lain masuk kedalamnya. karena satu kondisi, info ini bocor ke diya (dan sekarang aku bocorin di blog ini) dan she asked me whether she can join or not?

OH MY GOD! It was really burst me out! I'm so angry with my self and with the condition that force me dig out all the bitterness that has been buried down in my heart. damn! seriously, in my human thought, Isn't it enough everything that I gave to her? I almost give everything! without asking any paid, besides somehow she continue to hurt my feelings! and now she wants my precious moment? huh??!!!

That thought suddenly appears in my mind, disturbing me, and killing my day. and there is when I realised that something wrong in my heart, something that God's want to ripped of from my life, so that I can purely serve Him as a servant.

I still hardly to forgive her.

For some of us, we may facing the same situation. my friend said : if you want to serve others, what you need is to Loving, support, and forgive . the last words is the hardest one We may think that we have been forgiving someone, but how can you prove that you are sincerely forgive them after what they have done to you? after all the pains that you got, and ripped your heart, do you really forgave them already?

This is my war. and I'm so blessed that during this time, God doesn't let me alone. He gave me Dion to share and to support me. God doesn't want me to stop to share, If He could stop, He doesn't need to sacrifice His life in the cross, It's enough for Him of being hated by human, people rejected him, and threw stone on Him, but still He needs to sacrifice all his life to prove His love to human. and that's what God's want me to do in different way.

This is ho hard for me, and really hurtfull, trust me, I really want to win this test so that I can prove my love to Jesus, and I really do. this final week will be final of all my pain and bitterness.

This is what Dion sent to me this morning, after I flooded of tears last night:

Ketika kerjamu tidak dihargau,

maka saat itu kau sedang belajar tentang KETULUSAN,

Ketika usahamu dinilai tidak penting,

maka saat itu kau sedang berlajar KEIKHLASAN,

Ketika hatimu terluka sangat dalam,

maka saat itu kau sedang belajar tentang MEMAAFKAN,

Ketika kau harus lelah dan kecewa,

maka saat itu kau sedang belajar tentang KETANGGUHAN,

Ketika kau harus membayar biaya yang sebenarnya tidak perlu kau tanggung,

maka saat itu kau sedang belajar tentang KEMURAHMATIAN,

Tetap sabar, tetap tersenyum, terus belajar,

Karena kau sedang menimba ilmu di universitas KEHIDUPAN,

TUHAN menaruhmu di tempatmu sekarang bukan hanya suatu kebetulan.

Orang yang hebat tidak dihasilkan melalui

kemudahan,kesenangan,dan ketenangan,

mereka dibentuk melalui

kesukaran,tantangan, dan air mata,

Ketika engkau mangalami sesuatu yang sangat berat dan merasa ditinggalkan sendiri dalam hidup ini

Angkatlah tangan dan kepalamu keatas...tataplah masadepanmu, dan ketahuilah

Tuhan sedang mempersiapkanmu untuk menjadi orang yang luar biasa

heart You God, *thanks Dion, do you know that you are the best?? :)