old friend... still best friend

I spoke with my old friend last night, Joko...
thousand miles separate us after he decided to continue his master in beijing, i felt lose him sometimes.
but the first conversation after 2 months, bring me a cold wind.
I was just dissapointed with my mom, before i video call with Joko. I wasn't very happy - I am never be really happy these days.
he could see the gab,he could he I changed... not as happy as before. and he asked me, am I okay?

I don't even now whether I am okay or not.. i think I am.
just, seems that I couldn't be really as cheerfull as before, and couldn't be really blue. beacuase of the situation and environtment that i facking right now. I miss my cheerful days.
am I suppose to be enjoying my life now? hang out with friends, having a good connection, a lot of laugh and fun, be a conseler for friend, but none of this I can get it from here.

I am 12 days going to 23... and most of the people that I interact with is 30 above.
no time for them to joking around, to play around, what they think is family, and business...
I still need friend to talk, I am desperatly need friend! same ages, or older a bit...
mostly interact with my family, and it is not easy, we haven't been together in the past 8 years (because I left Blitar to study in Malang in 2004) and it's extremly harddd!!! they never be a good comfort place for me, it's a war...everyday is war, between me and my self to obey with my family.
I have been ordinary, never in my life felt like this... I'm not happy, and I'm not sad.

I hate to say this, but I hope I have opportunity to grow younger, not older :(

when I need a help, God give me a friend

When I stuck into my mind, I'm asking God who I can speaks to? I gone through my contact and nobody seems suitable, so I tried one name who might be the right person to talk, and he said:

"Listen : it's not bad when you want to utilized what God's given to you, ..But one day, you'll realize that you worry about your body too much.
accept what's given unto you, Not wasting time to worry this and that. Its about choice nad, This is who you are, people may scorn, but you can do nothing about it. Well, yeah, you can change this and that.. But when the worries replaced the greatfullness, we have to be wary"

he continued ; " You want to know what I see?
What I see in you beyond your temporary chrysalis, is a gem.. A gem hardly mathced by pink diamonds on Angelina Joli's fingers..
How were seen are the combination between soul and body.. How we look is who we aew.. After the ressurection, we will return to our true self, true soul and body union... This we in our prime state..
Beautifull both physically and spiritually..
So, chase for eternal, not for the temporal.. Lord sees you as a beauty even the world sees otherwise..
When His glory comes yo us in the end, we aren't even troubled about how we look like,
Be smart nadia, likehow you used to be ;) , Your worries are stupid, you aren't..

You worried about this soale kamu punya dion sekarang, it's normal reaction, But it doesn't mean you have to changes the way you are... If he can't see you deeper than your friend, maybe he's just a friend"

"Tetapi kenakanlah Tuhan Yesus Kristus sebagai perlengkapan senjata terang dan janganlah merawat tubuhmu untuk memuaskan keinginannya." Roma 13:14 

Thank's Lord.. i met another TRUE friend <3

happy 3rd friendship Anniversary

3rd year Anniversary :) 

semoga pertemanan kita forever yo do! :)

happy Easter!!!

good friday

Hey Brian!,
this post always remains in every good Friday, so touch. and YES! it is started to dark now, an hour before mass.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Good Friday

Ever since I was a lil kid, we always go to Good Friday mass at noon, and always, my mom tells me this: it's gonna rain during the mass, as usual, definitely.

Years have passed, and this is the second Good Friday without me going to mass with my family, but the words stick right at my heart, as I recall now how I told Marco what my mom always says to me about the rain, and I said, let's see if it rains, this afternoon.

And right at this moment, as the rest of family is attending the Good Friday mass back in Jakarta and as I listen to Danny Gokey's rendition of Stand By Me, the rain is pouring out there. Just nice, just right. My mom is right. It's raining.

I want you to stand by me, God. Stand by me. 

I feel blessed. I thank God.

kegiatan rutin

6.00-730 : Bangun (tergantung sang pacar mbanguni jam berapa, paling pol 730 kalo kakak ipar yang mbangunin)
7.30-9.00: renungan, elus2 abul and jaide, sarapan
9.00: buka ANTV, ikutin fresh and fun (aerobic pagi hari)
9.30: pendinginan dah gitu mandi , trus siap siap
11.00: ke toko
1-2.00 : makan siang
4-5.00: pulang rumah untuk persiapan kegiatan sore: mis Yoga, persekutuan doa, latian choir, etc
9.00: pulang, ngobrol sama keluarga
10.00: telpon sama pacar, tergantung selesai jam berapa, biasa sejam 15 menit-an.. lalu
tekdung...tekdung... hahahhaha

Bersyukurrr....

Bersyukurrrr..... tak henti hentinya aku ingin bersyukurrr

Untuk laptop baru yang nggak mahal namun bisa buat kerja
Untuk kamar dengan privacy, meskipun deket embong namun suoer duper nyaman.
Untuk lemari minimalis yang baru.. yang super keren, fit with my room..
Untuk Wifi yang bisa masuk ke kamar
Untuk Kakak yang pinter, bisa setting semuanya hingga fasilitas AC bisa ada di kamarku
Untuk Kakak yang luarr biasa, yang ngisiin laptopku pae ftware2 keren
Untuk Anjing2 yang selalu menyambutku dengan gembira saat pagi,dan saat pulang kerja
Untuk Pacar yang super istimewa, yang selalu setia suka dan duka meski jauh disana
Untuk Mama yang membangunkanku tiap pagi..dan memeberi semangat kerja
Untuk Ladang Pelangi..
dan terlebih Untuk Tuhan yang memberikan semuanya ini GRATIS untukku

semoga bisa jadi berkat untuk sesama :)