saya sudah bisa nyetir

saya sudah bisa nyetir saudaraa saudaraaaa


akhirnya..... satu recolusi sudah bisa dilancarkannn, even pas belum bisa nyetir tanggal 6 Maret aku sudah dapet SIM,,


wooohooo indahnya Indonesia! :)

work

Beberapa hari ini aku bertemu dengan teman teman sepantaranku untuk catch up, and honestly I'm surprises that all of them are working now..
most of them are my male friends, I asked them why they want to work straight since they just finish study, and they said" I have no choice" or " kalo nggak kerja ngapain lagi?"
They have some struggle, find a path, the right path for them.. and start to make the first steps.. there is always a process for every adjustment.
yang aku inget.. "jangan menunggu untuk siap. karena disaat kamu nggajk siap itu dimana km belajar."
ketika aku dihadapkan pada pertanyaan "apakah aku harus melakukan hal yg sama" since mereka cowok jadi beban mereka lebih berat, dan mereka selalu bilang aku nggak harus melakukan itu karena tergantung suamiku nanti.. but that makes me want to do more.

nah... sekarang aku selesai liburan, kayaknya aku bakal bantu mama once I arrives in Blitar, mama bilang aku bakal digaji, untuk membantu renovasi toko. jujur aku belum memutuskan karena kalo aku kerja di blitar means aku bakal stuk disana, nggak bisa berteman, nggak bisa memperluas koneksi.. but who know God's way?
aku juga berpikir kl ak di blitar, gmn dengan relationshipku? gmn dgn Dion? malah LD lageeee
Tapi yang membuat aku semangat adalah... visionku kedepan. kalo aku emang serius mau menjalani hidup ini aku harus fokus ke depan, kalau bisa financially free before 30, bagus kan? malah siap membangun keluarga dan lebih mandiri :) Dion juga bakal less burden in the future.

fokuss... fokus cari duiiittttttttttt

privacy

sebulan di Indonesia, banyak banget lho yang perlu di adjust
selain karena masalah kesehatan dan makanan yang tiap org pasti ngalamin, aku juga ngalamin krisis privacy yang di rumahku sama sekali nggak pernah diterapkan. dan ini menimbulan cucuran airmata yang membanjir..karena kamarku telah dilangkahi privacynya

jadi begini ceritanya...


dari kamis lalu sampai selasa besok, aku bakal ada di malang..nah jadi temen kakaku dari negar` clekosbjdnfzxfuiwe sedang bekunjung ke blitar, dan tanpa ada haha hihi huhu, dia menginap dikamarku. nahh... ketika hari ini aku tau bahwa si bule menginap di kamarku tanpa sepengetahuanku, otomatis aku aget donkk... yang aku pikirin yah si Bobby, Arnold dan Felix yang bakal di mek mek sama strangers ato bakal tidur ama si bule yang nggak tau belum mandi berapa hari, siapa tau bawa kutu dari tmpt asalnya...yaksssss... ditambah lagi kakaku baru ketemu nich orang kali ini, dulunya kenal di facebook...masyaawlaaahhh....
karena tindakan ketidakadlan ini kutelephonelah oda, kutanyalah kokoku kenapa dia nggak tanya sama aku dulu, atleast ngabarin. dia bilang " nggak kepikiran ndut".
begitu juga dengan mamaku, dia bilang bahwa dia nggak nyangka kalo reaksiku bakal seperti ini.. I mean hellow! dari dulu harusnya udah tau donk kalo barang2 yg aku pake aku nggak suka share ke orang lain,apalagi kamar yang jelas jelas itu kayak secret caveku dimana semua barang2ku aku taroh, makannya aku selalu siapin extra untuk orang lain, ini malah suruh sharing sama strangers???!!!
okay, mungkin saya yang harus mengerti karena saya orang baru di rumah, dan mereka juga harus mau belajar mengerti saya karena kami akan gidup bersama..
jujur suasana seperti ini membuat aku kesulitan untuk beradaptasi, sampe saat ini benernya aku masih nggak nyaman lho di indonesia, dan dengan adanya dilanggarnya privacy saya yah semakin sulit cara penyesuaian dirinya..
dari case ini yang paling aku ingat adalah kata2 mama..  "yang sabar yah, masih penyesuaian"

Thx mom, you are the best :)

im in Indonesia

finally...it's been a month..
in the beginning its really hard to cope with the situation, especially when I am in blitar
I felt trapped in the situation when I was kid..everything seems to be really small and old, didn't look a like what I've got in Malaysia or Adelaide... the road is small, the gate.,the furniture really old, still the same  since 10 years back. same condition, just the people are getting old.to make it easy for me, mom dedicated one room in our old house yet  renovated to me, I need to go around my house 10 times to adapt with this situation,it still strange for me to feel the atmosphere, to get use with the weather and dog's bark from my lawn, the busy road in front of my room.. somehow I felt lost, but i need to get use to it in the meantime.
in the first week I was  sick. cough and cold, doesn't make me feel any better, especially when i was in Jakarta i get diarrhea, kind of serious because I really couldn't hold my tummy to react and give me a horrible reaction, i need to rest hotel for one day, cant eat anything accept porridge and went to toilet 10 times in an hour!

its kind of one of the worst sick.. but thats worthed, because i can feel that im doing normal like others. my body adjusting with Indonesian food, like others said, I will feel sick in the first three months because my body adjusting with environment and weather in Indonesia a after 1 moths will be better
I haven't gain any weight, Praise God. maybe because I'm not really into food now, I just eat what i need, not too much. for now on, my plan its just settling down in Indonesia, for the first year I'm going to stay in blitar helping my mom to renovate my shop - toko pelangi- and learn TOKO PELANGI's system for better future.

it hard for me to realizes that people have their own life, they started to build their life, become somebody that I never imagine before. all my friend have their own life now. kind of disappointed because i thought they will have time for me if I visited them since we long time never see each other. but that was wrong, they have their work, their boyfriend, their family.. and few left for me. I need to realise that. even when I really want to have girls day out, they asked to bring their boyfriend together with us..for any reason we need to agree, and there will be no more girls day out i guess, even i know i have boyfriend too and i know how does it feel when he is far away.. i miss him so much, but we still need quality time aaprt from the,m right?
somehow.. i miss my high school life when most of us have no boyfriend and we only have each other to lay on.. really. it's bad for me even worst for those who has no boyfriend, I'm lucky has no problem about it, and when I have no friend and no idea where to go he always there for me even only on the phone..accompany me.,really thank God for him :) *&hug.  I need to face it.. this is not the time to pity my self but to realized that people grow and changes, they are trying to build their life, take over the elder to run this world, and I need to start as well...

after a month...
Joko and hendry have move on to continue their measter in beijing, wirawan has a job, some of my friend has decided their business, Dion still trying to get Aus PR with IELTS. and me.. trying to get my self right and choose my way. i ope this is right

now is pre easter.. i hope God get me in the right track! hope you do it as well :)

leaving Adelaide

tik tok tik tok tik tok...,

nggak nyangka waktu berjalan cepet banget.. it has been 1,5 years, adelaide and me become a good friends, many things happen which couldn't describe by an essay. It was wonderfull!

dimana ak oleh bertemu teman teman baru, menamah banyk pengalaman, dan yang pasti mencapai satu perubahan dengan prosess yang nggak gampang.

Adelaide been treated me really well.

and now it's time for me to say Goodbye.

the are a tie that makes me couldn't let go Adelaide, from people who lives here and still hard to let me g (Bu As and Om Bob), but show must go on, I will leave all the memories in Adelaide, with fully gratitude back to Indonesia.

am I sad or happy? couldn't really tell the feeling.

I'm a realistic person, living in the present and future, never look to the past, so what I know is I need to move on and continue my life.

this is not the end of God's promises.. this is the begining.

The things which makes lighten my burden to let go Adelaide is, all my friends in Indonesia

there is nothing to stop me to meet them soon. esspecially Joko... I can't wait to see him!!

and more important thigs, I'm going bcak with my love ones, Dion will meet my mom, and he is the firs boyfriend who i introduced to family... He will going back with me to Indonesia...

really nothing to stop me.

Eventhough future seems so blur, but i belive When you focus on possibilities, you will have more opportunities. thats what I belive will happen to me

I have more than a plan in Indonesia, I have courage that I will gain something more there, the challage is begin soon. 

and God made me ready :)

berteman dengan mama

seperti kebanyakan anak muda, i have a big problem communicate with my parents,

specifically, My mom.

bukan hanya karena kita jarang kumpul, tapi juga karena sikap dan kepribadiannya yang unik.

mama orangnya biasa sendiri, karena dia ank tunggal, nggak merasa butuh orang lain dan sangat perfectsionist, gaya bicaranya yang keras dan kelakuannya yg sekarepe dhewe sering membuat aku snewen, she doesn't look like an ordinary mom who usually people have.

kalo biasanya mama dateng pasti dimasakin, semua mua bersih, dan rapi. tapi kalo mamaku dateng, barang semua ilang pindah nggak tau kemana, alat2 rumah tangga rusak semua, dan alamat aku tiap sore harus masak buat makan malem... cape deee.

namun beliau juga punya talenta, she can speak 10 hours without stop! it's like a radio broadcast, or worst than that.. if you don't stop her, she can go all night long :S

sejak kecil, mama nggak pernah ngurusin anak2nya like ordinary mom, yang dia lakukan adalah menggaji orang untuk ngurusin anaknya dan mencukupi kebutuhan, yah mungkin bisa dimaklumi karena mama single parents dan berjuang demi mencukupi ketiga anaknya yang masih sekolah, namun beliau bukan saja berhasil mencukpi, malah sedikit lebih mewah.

but for me still, somehow I can't really stand if she is around, auranya itu udah ngajak orang berantem, plus ndak membuat orang simpati, tiap kali dia ngomong, pengen aku jawab dengan kenceng dan kasar.

as the time goes by,, i feel tired.

tired to fight, tired to get angry, tired to speak loud, tired to hate her.

so I started to make a peace with her. I'm not trying to love her.. just start to like her, as a friend.

it went well on the first, I'm trying to be nice with her, like i treated my friend. a bit informal, and most is trying not to shout at her which is quite hard.

I;m trying to help her, and somehow if i don't like it, i tell her honestly that don't want to do it. obviously I joke around with her and make fun of her.

spent more time as a family, trveling it's really a good treatment. kata orang jowo "witting tresna, jalaran soko kulino" , kita mencintai karena kita terbiasa... terbiasa bersama, terbiasa dengan kehadiran orang tersebut, jadi kita lebih tau apa yang dia inginkan dan menyesuaikan dengan dirikita. hasilnya? mmm tamapaknya memuaskan.

sampai detik ini aku berusaha jadi teman mama, atleast meskipun kami nggak affectoinate banget, ato sampe ngomong heart to heart, but we get along quite well.

thanks God for that :)

2012? Time for new resolutions

Christmas has been passed, and I am in the year of 2012.
I'm spending time with my family, many things happen recently, and I believe it's for our own good. plety of funny stories from my mom's whose trying to be "mom" and turned it as a disaster. L.O.L
anyway, this kind of boring new year, i spent in bu Asanah's house beause I was SICK!, high fever, cold, but good thing is I spent the last seconds of 2011 and the first second of 2012 with people that i love the most, and love me more, not strangers, not someone who I choose to be. I was in the phone with my boyfriend which 2,5 hours different
one thing that unbelieveable with this new year is I'm not alone anymore, I have a boyfriend, eventhough just on the phone, but his presence is here :) hope we could spend next new year together sayang :)

it's going to be a tough year for me, ever since I need to going back to Indonesia and find a job, harder because my relationship in uncertainty, as always... if we can go far, really it's because God's grace, and really it's God's plan...untill now I can really feel what happen with us is really God's plan. I will never insist or resist anything, because this is one miracle who happen in my life..  I'm gonna fight for it.

So my 2012 resolution going to be many things; and most of it connecting to my future in Indonesia. trying to get it in details..

1. driving skills ;I'm not going to go out to work BEFORE I know how to drive a car, till I got lisence! ok that's going to be hard, but I want to be independent
2. trying harder ; I promise to get jobs exclude my mom's bussiness, and I'm not going to complain about anything, just accept the situation, trying to survive, and figure out how to be master on it, include my service in the place that God will put me, get the balance on it. achieve something, moving around for experience, as well as saving more money.
3. maintaining; im going to be seriously maintaining my body  -in detail - I'm going to regulary work out, go to skin care, and do products to maintain my performance. it's gonna be tough as well because I'm not use to it anymore when I'm in australia
4. I'm going to hold on my relationship.. go ALL IN, in the way that If I'm going to help Dion, I'm not going to be like you is your problem, not my problem. but I will going like your problem is my problem, something wrong with you, is something wrong with me as well. trying to build trust and faith on each other, plus support in God's faith. even though I need to be long distance with him *again

yeah that's pretty much 4 point that I want to achieve in 2012, and hopefully everything going well